We Welcome Killian Orion & Piper Wren

Killian Orion & Piper Wren

Well, it happened. I gave birth to two beautiful babies. Here's how it went down:

Last Thursday (10/9) I went to my OB appointment and was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. Then over the weekend I felt so exhausted and could barely move. Getting up off the couch was a chore and I was still losing my mucus plug. Monday I had another OB appointment.

Monday (10/13)

Dan had off from work because of Columbus Day. Lily went to play at my parent's house while Dan and I went off to my OB appointment. I was not so secretly hoping for my OB to tell me to go straight to the hospital to deliver. I had quite enough of this pregnancy! I was 34 weeks, 4 days along at that point.

We were called in to see my doctor. They weighed me - I gained 55 pounds this pregnancy. Ugh! My doctor came in and checked to see how dilated I was since last visit. He asked if I wanted to have these babies tonight and I said yes. I was 6cm dilated - at least that's what he told us (more on that later). He said to go home and get my things together. Get to the hospital at 6pm so they could check me in and get things going. He would get there about 8pm to break my water. Dan and I were so excited.

Dan and I got home and packed up the van. My parents brought Lily home and stayed until Dan's parents got there to watch her so they could head off to the hospital. We told Lily we were going to get Piper and Killian and that I would see her tomorrow.

We got to the hospital and by that point I was feeling some contractions. I hadn't felt any until my doctor examined me a couple of hours earlier. We got up to the labor and delivery wing of Nassau University Medical Center (NUMC). They redid it since we had Lily there over 2 1/2 years ago. It's really nice. I got my gown on and they started getting me ready by taking my blood and hooking me up to an IV. This time around I decided to get the epidural. Since I was having twins, if something were to go wrong and I needed a c-section, I wanted to be ready. A medical student asked if she could watch the birth. It would be her first time experiencing it. I said sure. I was moved into the labor room about 8pm.

The labor room was huge. There was a recliner and a table with chairs. It even had it's own bathroom. My nurse started getting me set up and my doctor came in to break my water (Killian's) at around 9pm. He then told us that I was actually 8cm dilated when we saw him earlier but he didn't want to panic me. He then told us a very funny joke and left the room for a bit. Then at around 9:30pm the epidural was administered. The epidural didn't seem to be working. It numbed my left leg and both my feet but didn't really do anything for the contractions I was having. Then about 10pm my contractions were never ending and I felt a lot of pressure. They called my doctor back into the room and he checked me. I was 10cm and Killian's head was right there. It was pushing time!

I started remembering how hard it was to push Lily out. I was pushing for about 2 hours with her. This time though, it went much faster. I gave about 4 good pushes and out Killian came at 10:14pm. He started crying, or really he made a sound like a little mouse, and I started crying. My baby boy was born! I held him for a bit while Dan cut the umbilical cord and my placenta was delivered. Then his NICU nurse took him aside to be cleaned and swaddled.

Now it was time to get Piper delivered. She was still head down! My doctor broke my water and said I could start pushing. I thought that was weird since I didn't have any contractions for her. I pushed about 3 good pushes and out Piper came at 10:20pm. That simple! I held her while Dan cut her umbilical cord and I delivered the placenta. Then her NICU nurse took her to be cleaned and swaddled.

I didn't need an episiotomy this time around but I did tear a little bit. My doctor stitched me up and I was ready to hold both of my babies!

Killian Orion, Mommy, Piper Wren

During the labor, there were about 25 medical staff in the room. Only about 8 of them actually needed to be there for me and the babies. The other's were just so excited that a vaginal twin birth was going on that they had to stop by to witness it. I was the talk of the hospital since most of them have never seen a vaginal twin birth before and the ones who have, hadn't seen one done in a very, very long time.

My awesome OB, Dr. Granoff

On Monday, October 13, 2014, at 34 weeks, 4 days along we had some good sized babies!

• Killian Orion weighed 6 pounds, 0.5 ounces, 19.5 inches long
• Piper Wren weighed 6 pounds, 2.2 ounces, 19.25 inches long

Healthy new additions to the Gorman family!

34 Weeks...80% Effaced, 3 cm Dilated

OMG! 34 weeks along. Can it really be? I am amazed, although I really think this could be the last week I'll be pregnant. My mucus plug came out on Tuesday (10/7) night around 6pm. Yesterday (Wednesday, 10/8) a little more came out. I didn't realize how much mucus a mucus plug could be. Once you've come "un-glued" it could be anytime within the next two weeks that you go into labor. I don't know if I'll make it to Monday.

I had a doctor's appointment today (10/9). My OB checked to see if I was dilated. I am 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. What does that mean?

- The 1st picture above shows the cervix is not doing anything. It's thick and tight - nothing's getting through. 

- The 2nd picture shows the cervix is fully effaced - bye bye cervix. It also shows dilation at 1 cm. 

- I am 80% effaced and 3 cm. Almost there!

Now, I haven't felt any regular contractions but I am paying close attention to any little sign. I am sitting and sleeping with a waterproof pad under me just in case my water breaks. When I was 37 weeks with Lily my water broke. At the appointment with my midwife, the night before, I was 1-2 cm dilated but was never told of the effacement percentage. I wonder how long it will be until I go into labor this time. My bag is packed for the hospital and plans are in place for Lily. Now it's just a waiting game and at 34 weeks along, these babies will do great!

A little thought about Lily

I am thinking a lot now about Lily and how the twins will affect her and me. We have a routine in the mornings that I'm sure will change. We won't have our alone time unless the babies are napping and even then, it won't be the same. I'm over the moon happy that we are growing our family by two, but I am a bit sad that my time with Lily will never again be what it is today.

Hello 33 Weeks!

Wow. Didn't think I would be here saying that I am now 33 weeks along! My doctor is happily surprised as well and gave me a high-five after sitting next to me in the waiting area at my appointment yesterday (Wednesday, 10/1). Everything looks good and we are all just hoping I make it another 2 or 3 weeks so that Killian's and Piper's lungs are fully developed.

32 weeks (9/25/14)

So here are some of the things I have been feeling being 33 weeks pregnant with twins:

• Heartburn is my enemy. Especially at night. 
• Tums is my friend and unfortunately, like all the friends I have ever had throughout my life, I get let down and disappointed sometimes by what it does/does not do.
• I did not experience hemorrhoids while pregnant with Lily...but while pregnant with twins? Yup. Luckily they don't hurt though. TMI??
• My boobs have gotten really big but you can't tell because of my gigantic belly.
• The weight of my belly is so much that my hips give out at times and I fear that one of these days I will fall.
• My knees are totally and completely shot. 
• My fingers are so swollen I can't make a fist.
• My feet look like balloons and it feels like I am walking on balloons.
• If I sit on the floor I can't get up unless I have help.
• I have to pee every 5 minutes. Sometimes every 2 minutes. Hell, sometimes every 5 seconds!
• It is very difficult to lift my legs to get into the shower.
• I take at least 2 naps a day...but not on purpose. Thank God Lily can keep herself entertained and out of trouble.
• My belly button is pretty much non-existent. 
• Dan says my belly looks like a tiger.
• My skin is so stretched out on my belly that the nerve endings are showing causing very painful feelings - the wind feels like razor blades going across my belly :(
• I still don't look pregnant from behind.
• So far I have gained 46 pounds and I'd guess to say that about 36 of it is my belly.
• I am pretty much house bound now with the exception of doctor's appointments, parent's and in-law's houses, and taking Lily to her drop-off class.

All of these things may seem like complaints, and maybe they are, but I do not regret this experience and will never regret it. Dan and I are lucky enough to get this chance at being parents to more than one child. We were lucky to have even had the chance of becoming parents with Lily. With that said though, I really hope these guys don't go any longer than 36 weeks. I don't think my body can handle any more weight and abuse than it has already. But, with my luck, they will defy all odds (more so than they have so far) and they will come at 40 weeks. God help me!

The Weigh-in

I had an ultrasound done today, Friday 9/19, to see how much our babies have grown. It still amazes me that I am carrying two inside of my belly. I don't think it will fully sink in until they are here in my arms. So, here are the stats:

• Their heartbeats are within normal range
• They both have hair on their heads that can be seen by ultrasound
• They are still both head down
• Killian is so far down into my cervix that I'm lucky his head isn't popping out
• Killian is in a fetal position
• Piper is spread out taking up all the room in there
• I have been feeling sharp pains in one area of my belly which I found out is Piper's butt
• Killian loves to suck on his hand and fingers
• Piper had the hiccups during the ultrasound
• Killan weighs 4 lbs, 4 oz
• Piper weighs 4 lbs
• They are both average weight
• I have more poundage of baby right now than I had with Lily at 37 weeks - she was 8 lbs, 2 oz
• My doctor gave me fist pumps for still being pregnant
• I got the Tdap vaccination today (Tetanus-diphtheria-acellular Pertussis vaccine)
• My doctor is hoping I don't go into labor until 36 weeks - That's 10/23

All in all it was a good visit. I am getting more and more debilitated as the days go on, but our babies are doing just fine. Lily is getting excited also. She was trying to play ball with them the other day by bouncing balls on my belly. She really is too cute for her own good!

30 weeks along (9/11/14)

Next up:

• Setting up the crib
• Putting both car seats in the van so Lily gets used to them being there
• Putting together the bouncy seat, swing, and whatever else we might want to use right away
• Getting what's left on our registry

AHHHHH!!!!!! It can really be any time from now until 9 weeks from now. Crazy how this time flew by. We are thankful everyday to have these two little miracles growing healthy and strong. Also thankful that Lily is such a good toddler and pray she will remain that way when she finally becomes a big sister.

30 Weeks Along!!!

OMG! I made it to 30 weeks. I can't tell you how awesome that is since 9 weeks ago I was told my cervix was shortened and 7 weeks ago, my doctor was in a state of "controlled" panic over it. My mom jokes that I'll go over my due date of November 20th, but with the way my body works I wouldn't be surprised. We're just hoping for another 5 weeks. That'll be 35 weeks and our 2 little ones shouldn't have any issues or a long NICU stay.

Lily started the drop off program at Tots On Track today. She took a break for the summer but is back with all her little friends and most favorite teacher, Ms. Rhona. When we got there, Ms. Rhona came out and Lily said, "My Nona. Mommy home." I guess I just wasn't welcomed. LOL! I think Lily thinks Ms. Rhona is a 3rd grandma. Heck, she's been seeing her once a week since she was 8 months old, so why not? Lily always hugs her and wants to sit on her lap. It'll be sad when she won't be going there anymore (next year). But I will want to do the Mommy and Me class with the twins so Lily can always visit.

This past Sunday, the 6th, we had a family BBQ and Diaper Party to celebrate becoming a family of 5. It was a small gathering, about 25 people. It was nice to see everyone before the chaos of newborn twins and a toddler take over our lives. We had a Diaper Raffle for those who brought us diapers and the prize was a Movie Night Basket. In the basket was a gift card to the movie theater, boxes of movie theater candy, and two cans of soda. I wanted to keep it for Dan and myself, but when do we ever have time to go see a movie?

Lastly, Lily has been helping Dan with painting the molding around the windows. She is too cute.

Hello 3rd Trimester

Why hello 28 weeks of pregnancy. It's been a rough road so far. My doctor didn't even think there for a while that I would make it this far. But here we are. The three of us. Hanging in there... literally.

My doctor is no longer in a real state of panic now that I've reached 28 weeks this past Thursday (8/28). The mortality rate has dropped so that's a good reason to relax a bit. There is still worry and concern, but nothing like it was a few weeks back. Hopefully I can go at least another 4 to 6 weeks before these two decide to come into the world.

I still have a shortened cervix. It now measures 1.3cm. So still no real activity for me. I even rode on one of the motorized carts they have at Target the other day. It felt like I was at an amusement park on one of the rides they have. It was embarrassing but I wasn't so out of breath and ready to pass out as I am when I walk so I'll continue to be embarrassed if and when I go again.

Lily is so concerned with my well being that I get upset when I think about it. She's putting all this stress in regards to if I'm OK and she's only 2 1/2. I wish I could take that burden away from her. The burden she just placed on herself. She has such a big and beautiful heart. Hopefully after Killian and Piper arrive, she will not then be so concerned about the babies. I don't want her to be concerned. At least not to the extent she is. She's a toddler, not an adult. She shouldn't have adult concerns.

Moving around is very difficult these days. I move slow and can't even go from the house to the car without getting out of breath. Getting up off the couch is a chore and don't even get me started on getting up off the floor. I know I probably shouldn't get on the floor but I have Lily who sometimes needs me down there.

My nails and hair are growing fast, thick, and strong lately. I cut my toe nails the other day and it will most likely be the last time I cut them before the twins arrive. I had so much trouble doing it. Too bad I can't get pedicures due to my Lymphedema, 'cause I would be going every couple of weeks. Oh well!

What other randomness can I tell you all about? I guess that's all for now, except to say I wish everyone has a great Labor Day and hope that I don't go into labor!

Update On Some Testing

OK. So my last post had some not so good news. This post is a little better. As Dan will tell me, since he "yelled" at me for keeping it 'til the end, I will start off by telling you the results of the fFN Test. NEGATIVE!!! This means that I have a 99.2% chance of NOT giving birth within the next 2 weeks (from the date the test was given). Phew! That's a little comforting. I'll most likely be retested next week  and let's hope again that I still get a negative result.

The next test result I got back was for the gestational diabetes. That was also a negative! I wasn't too concerned with this one since I didn't have a problem when pregnant with Lily.

Now the last test result which came out positive. It seems that when they checked my urine, which they do every time I go in to the office, it came back positive for a urinary track infection. Of course. One more medication to add to my long list. I now am on HUGE antibiotic pills 2x's a day for 7 days. Now that I think about it, this is probably the reason why every time I have to go to the bathroom it hurts. I thought it was just from two babies pressing on my bladder. Good thing they test the urine, otherwise it could've gotten a lot more serious than it is now.

So, what now? Well, I still have a shortened cervix. I go to the OB once a week. My next appointment is on Thursday where my OB will most likely be measuring my cervix again. Next week, they'll most likely do the cervix check and the fFN test again. I don't believe I will need another steroid shot, but we'll see.

Anyway. Dan and I are a bit relieved for now and can sorta rest easy until next week. I don't know about Dan, but I am not mentally prepared to have these two babies within a month. My due date is November 20th, which seems a good distance away. Unfortunately, we are probably looking at their arrival sometime in September. Hopefully it's more towards the end of the month than the beginning. That'll give them a better chance at not having too many struggles.

Every Day From Now On Counts!

Dan and I are a little more than nervous right now with new information we got from my OB yesterday, Wednesday (8/6). Two weeks ago my cervix was shortened to 2.6cm. As of yesterday it is shortened to .9cm. When normal cervix length when pregnant at around 25 weeks is, on average, 3cm, having to be told it is .9cm is scary.

So, what does this mean? It means pre-term labor and it can come at any time now. Thankfully I am not dilated and both baby's heart rates are really good and strong. I had a steroid shot Wednesday to help mature their lungs. I went in again today, Thursday (8/7) to have another steroid shot and a test called Fetal Fibronectin or fFN Test. This test determines if I will deliver as soon as 2 weeks. Hopefully not. I'm 25 weeks along so we hope and pray these 2 little ones will hold out until at least 30 weeks. The lungs are the last to develop and don't fully develop until week 35, hence the steroid shots. So fingers crossed that when Killian and Piper come into this world, their lungs are strong enough and they are healthy enough to: a) survive and b) not have any major health issues.

My OB gave me his cell number and told me that any little cramp, leaking, or blood, go straight to the hospital and call him on the way. Sounds serious. Well, I guess it is. After everything that Dan and I have been through in these past 5 years to have ourselves a family, this is just one more hurdle to get through. Nothing has come easily for us in this journey and to be honest, I'm getting sick of it! There are people out there that get pregnant by accident and don't even care. Then you have people like myself and Dan who have struggled through two miscarriages, testing, uterine surgery, 4 IUI's to get Lily, 5 failed IUI attempts to get pregnant again, IVF, news of twins, and now a shortened cervix with the more than possible outcome of delivering before 35 weeks. I'm not a praying woman, but please, pray that everything will be OK!!

Well, now that we are on "High Alert" I guess I need to pack my hospital bag right away. With Lily, I packed the day my water broke at 37 weeks. I can't really do that with these two. I need to be ready because once something happens I'm rushing to the hospital.

Ugh! This is so stressful and I'm trying so hard to remain calm, not only for myself, but for Dan and especially for Lily.

I Might Be...

This was 22 weeks along (last week)

I might be...

1. ...tired. OK, exhausted from carrying 2 babies inside of my way extended womb and trying to keep our 2 1/2 year old entertained.
2. ...feeling huge. Yes, huge. I know at 23 weeks with twins I will be getting a lot bigger, but c'mon!! Geez! This is getting a little ridiculous. People look at me and think I'm gonna go into labor in front of them.
3. ...hurting. Pain comes with pregnancy but when my 2 1/2 year old is going through sympathy pains with me, you know there's a problem! She's waddling while holding her back. She's rubbing her belly and saying, "Oooo. Babies!" Every time I get up or move or, really, do anything, I breath a lot harder, so my sweet little girl is constantly rubbing my back or arm or leg and saying, "OK Mommy?"
4. ...annoyed. Yes, annoyed, by all the stupid questions that come along with being pregnant with twins. "Wow! Are you pregnant?" No. I just naturally look like I swallowed a basket ball. "Twins? Wow. So, when are you scheduled?" Scheduled? For what? A hair appointment? Just because I'm having twins doesn't automatically mean I'm being scheduled for a c-section. "So you're having a boy and a girl? That's great! Are they identical?" Oh my God! Really? Are you really that stupid that you're asking if a boy and a girl are identical? Yes. Yes they are. The girl has a penis and the boy has a vagina. Dumb!!! 
5. ...crazy. Crazy for wanting another natural birth. Especially now that there will be 2 babies coming out of me. Yup. I'm crazy, but I have my reasons! Hopefully there is no medical necessity for me having any kind of intervention (although I believe I will have the epidural this time around AND only because if something does go wrong I know I won't be able to sit up and be still for the spinal tap which means I'll have to be knocked out and I DO NOT WANT THAT!!! - please excuse my run-on sentence :) ).
6. ... house-ridden. Not right at the moment, but maybe soon...real soon. Not only is my cervix a little shortened (2.6 cm where normal is 3 cm or higher), but I run out of breath real easily. I'm slightly embarrassed to use the store's wheelchairs thinking there is nothing wrong with me, but there is. I'm pregnant with twins and I can hardly move without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. Not to mention the sciatic pain shooting down my back and butt. Ouch!
7. ...thankful. Yes, with all of these complaints or whatever they are, I am thankful. Thankful for being pregnant at all. Thankful for not going through another miscarriage. Thankful for Lily being a big sister to 2 little babies. Thankful for the most supportive husband who comes home a little early once a week to do the food shopping. Thankful that we will have 3 children because of the day in age that we are living in. Thankful that I survived all the poking and prodding and medications and never gave up hope in having the family Dan and I have always dreamed of having. I am thankful. Yes. Very thankful.

Our Twins

So, on Wednesday, the 9th, I had an appointment to get our babies measured and to find out for sure exactly what the sex is of the one we were unsure about. As it turns out we will be getting our wish: one boy and one girl! Lily will have a brother and a sister which is fantastic!!!

Baby A is our boy, Killian Orion. He is on the bottom and weighs about 1 pound. He was extremely active when the ultrasound technician started. Punching out both arms and legs, we think he was fighting for "his side" of my womb. By the time we were almost done, he was putting all his fingers in his mouth and falling asleep.

Baby B is our girl, Piper Wren. She is on the top and weighs about 14 ounces. She too was active in the beginning, but I think that had something to do with her brother kicking and punching her. A girl's gotta stand up for herself and it seems to be starting very early! By the time we were almost done, she was fast asleep as well. The technician was using my stomach as a sorta punching bag trying to get her to wake up and turn over. That didn't feel good at all and it didn't work.

The technician had me lay down on the chair flat. About 20 minutes in I couldn't take it anymore. My sciatic nerve pain in my back was KILLING ME!!!! I asked how much longer and she raised the chair up a bit so I wasn't laying flat any longer. It helped a little. Then she had me get up to empty my bladder so she could do an intrauterine ultrasound to measure my cervix. I could barely walk to the bathroom which was two doors down. I was in so much pain.

Once in the bathroom, I needed to give a sample so they could check my glucose levels. Let me just tell you that when you are pregnant and have a huge belly which is unmovable, getting that little collection cup in line with your "stream" is extremely difficult! That's all I'll say about that.

When everything was measured and I was done, Dan and I met with the doctor. This was a new doctor in the office, not the regular ones I normally see. Everything seemed to be OK. Both babies are at a good weight and I was given my next appointment date in four weeks for the gestational diabetes test.

Thursday, the 10th, I got a call from one of the regular doctors I see. He said that the babies looked good but that my cervix was a little shortened. Meaning I could go into preterm labor more easily because my cervix is not at a normal length. Since I didn't have my cervix measured when I was pregnant with Lily, I don't know if this is a pre-existing condition or if it's just this pregnancy. My doctor seems to think I could've had a shortened cervix with Lily since she came at 37 weeks, but we'll never know for sure. He said it is common for twins to come early anyway, but he prescribed Crinone (progesterone) to try to help prolong the pregnancy. I took Crinone in the 1st trimester to help keep the pregnancy and prevent miscarriage.

Anyway, I'll be taking the Crinone for the rest of the pregnancy and instead of waiting four weeks to go back, I have to go back in two weeks so they can check my cervix again. He said I wasn't dilated or anything so that is a good thing. I'm just hoping I don't have to go on bed rest. Or if I do, I hope it's just to limit my activities like not lifting anything heavy, aka: Lily, and no strenuous activity. I've already told Dan I'm putting myself on  limited activity so as to not make this a bigger problem than it is.

So, that's that. On a lighter note, Lily said her name for the 1st time on Wednesday. When we had asked her what her name was previously, she would always say, "Me." Now she says, "Leelee." Too cute!

Dear Lily

Dear Lily,

You are our "Rainbow Baby." The one who came to us after a long and painful journey. You are our little miracle. Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts and we will continue to love you just the same when you become a Big Sister.

You will be the best Big Sister because you are so caring and loving. I know it may be difficult at times since you will become a Big Sister of two at once, but just know that Mommy and Daddy will try our hardest to give you no less attention than you are used to. We will continue to play with you, and read to you, and watch Peppa Pig with you. We will take you on adventures that are just for you - "Lily Dates." We hope that this big change won't be a big emotional change for you.

Love with all our hearts,

Mommy & Daddy

_________________________________________________________________________________

How do I share all the love I feel for Lily with two other babies? How do I divide my heart up without trying to give any less love to Lily? How do other parents do it? How do parents go from having one child that is the world to them and jump right into an automatic three? I'm sure it may be difficult with having just one more child at a time, but having another two at once? Twins will take up a lot of time and energy. How will I cope? How will Lily cope? How will I divide my attention three ways without making Lily feel any less loved? It scares me when I think about it. I know I will get into a groove and all will eventually be OK and work out, but until I'm knee deep in it, I'm a little nervous about it.

6 Weeks Ahead of Schedule

Uh oh. I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow but at my OB appointment today I'm measuring 24 weeks. That's 6 weeks ahead of schedule which puts me at a 34 week due date or October 9th instead of November 20th. Umm...I'm not sure I'm ready to be due in just 16 weeks. That seems crazy!!!

Being that I'm measuring at 24 weeks, it totally makes sense now why I'm so out of breath all the time. My belly is big and, hello?? There are 2 babies in there! They are not only taking up lots of space, they are moving around and switching positions all the time. My OB thinks that's a little unusual. Twins will normally pick a spot and toss and turn within that area (like one on top and one on the bottom. OR one on the right side and the other on the left). But not my twins. No. They like to take turns on who is on the top and bottom and who is on the left and right. Dan says we'll have to remember this and see what they are like after they are born.

Speaking of the twins, I did mention that through a blood test they determined that we are having at least one boy. Well, it looks like there is a girl in there too! We think. 2 weeks ago, it was up in the air but today it looks more and more like it is a girl. Awesome!!

Last week at 17 weeks along

Lily has an ear infection. The only good part about it is that she's been asking to go down for naps which gives me time to relax and get a break from her mania. Last Saturday, she went down for bed and woke up at 10:30pm screaming and sticking her finger in her right ear. Luckily, PM Pediatrics is open until midnight so Dan and I got her in the car and went. The doctor got a huge amount of gross ear wax out from her right ear and there was an infection behind it. I hope she gets to being her normal self really soon, 'cause it's so stressful when one moment she's laughing, then the next she's screaming and crying. It's not good for her and definitely not good for me in my condition (you know? Pregnant, with twins).

Speaking of being sick, I'm also not feeling great. Besides the whole out of breath thing, I have a sore and scratchy throat. My OB felt my lymph nodes, but all seemed to be OK. She prescribed me a Zpack just in case it becomes worse. Last night I was running a low grade fever. I also threw up my entire dinner just 3 hours after eating it. But throwing up is nothing new. That was probably just due to the pregnancy.

I go back in another 2 weeks to see my OB. At that point we should have a definitive answer on our girl status and hopefully some really good ultrasound pics!

The Shopping Dilemma

It happened when I was pregnant with Lily...

I was in Kohl's shopping for about an hour. As I waited on line I felt weak and was blacking out. Uh-oh! I was going down. Luckily, this older couple helped me. They were the only one's even though there was a line full of people and workers who saw me but did nothing to lend a hand. I was noticeably pregnant at the time and it saddened me to think that if that couple was not there to catch me as I fell to the floor, I would have fallen and possibly passed out.

It happened again last week. This time I was in Target. I think the shopping cart got too heavy for me and I started feeling weak and shaky. Luckily I was in the bread and Hostess Cakes aisle and grabbed myself a box of brownies. Again, I was/am noticeably pregnant and a few people did pass me by as I grabbed and leaned over my shopping cart breathing heavy and looking pale. Did they stop to ask if I was OK? Not one person did. I made my way over to the shoe department to sit down. I scarfed down some brownies and drank a bottle of water I brought from home.

After about 10 minutes I was feeling a little better but didn't trust that I could make it through the rest of my shopping trip. I called home. My mother was watching Lily and luckily my dad stopped by so she could come to help me out. I needed her to push the cart so I could finish my shopping. My mom found me by the shoes and we proceeded to go through the rest of the aisles. We were almost done when I needed to rest again. I sat down for about 5 minutes before getting up to go to the check out line.

So now it is official. I cannot go shopping by myself anymore for the rest of this pregnancy. Unless it is a quick in and out trip, I just can't take the chance of having an episode with no one there to help. It sucks, but who said pregnancy was going to be a cake walk?

SUPER LILY

Lily helped pick out some new P.J.'s now that she's in a 3T size. She loved this one - cape and all! Now, when she wears it, she zooms around the house with her arms in front of her and sometimes behind her while making a "ZOOOOOOOM" sound. We gotta get it on video, it's too cute not to.

Bye Bye Midwife, Hello OB

It seems that the price of having twins is not being able to have the one on one interactions and help from my midwife. Unfortunately it seems that having twins means high risk and my midwife is not legally able to help deliver high risk babies. When she told me, I cried. It was truly upsetting that the woman who helped me through the most difficult and painful experience I have ever known, was unable to do it again. I begged her to recommend an OB she trusted and possibly worked with before. She recommended Dr. Granoff and Dr. Lee whose office is in East Northport, but they deliver out of NUMC (my 1st choice hospital). Needless to say, she recommended great doctors!

Having had really bad experiences with OB's in the past, I was pleasantly surprised by how supportive these two doctors are of my birth choices. Dr. Lee said it best, "We are like midwives with a medical degree." FYI: My midwife with Lily did have a degree, but it was for nursing (she is a Certified Nurse Midwife - CNM).
I never feel rushed when I'm in the office. I always have plenty of time to ask questions and have them answered completely and honestly. I trust that they have only good intentions for a happy and healthy pregnancy and labor. The other OB's I have been to seem to only care about what's best and convenient for them, so these two are a welcomed change.

It seems like I did so much research when I was pregnant with Lily as to how I wanted my birth experience to be. Well all that research is half down the drain now that I'm carrying twins. It's a whole different ball game here and I'm a little more than slightly terrified. I'm 16 weeks along tomorrow and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there are two babies in my ever growing belly. It seems as though time is just flying by because I look, and feel, so much farther along than what I am. I'm trying to get all the information I can on delivering twins naturally. Yup, I'm THAT crazy to want to deliver naturally again AND with twins! But that's me. I had all these really great reasons for not wanting any drugs with Lily's birth and they have stuck with me with this pregnancy. Unfortunately with twins, I'm less likely to have the birth experience I'm hoping for. So collecting any and all information I can is a good thing, although quite difficult. There aren't a lot of resources that offer info on multiple births. It's weird because many women these days are having more and more multiple births due to infertility issues and IVF.

On a bit of a different note, I am sleeping on the couch again. I did it while pregnant with Lily because I just couldn't get comfortable in the bed. This time is slightly different. I've been having really bad sciatic pain in my lower left side/hip area. Sleeping in bed was making the pain worse. When I woke up, I had so much trouble moving even the tiniest bit because the pain was too unbearable. So, the couch. I am thankful for our couch. We have one with fairly large cushions and it's deep so laying on it is very comfortable. Also, my back/hip is thankful because the pain has subsided dramatically! Awesome!! I just wish our bed was more like the couch because I hate being in the living room all night. Oh well. Just gotta stick it out another 20-24 more weeks.

Lily can't wait to be a Big Sister!

14 Weeks Along

Lily                                                   Twins

Wow. Look at the difference. Oh how young I looked when pregnant with Lily. It seems so long ago. I was 33 years old when pregnant with Lily in 2011 and now, 36 with the twins. I'm older, wiser, and a stronger woman than I ever thought I was back in 2011. I've been through a natural birth. The kind of birth most women are scared of. The kind that requires strength and courage. The kind that is excruciatingly painful but worth it. Now I know I can do anything because nothing will be as hard as giving birth to an 8lb, 2oz baby without any drugs... except maybe giving birth to two at once.

Twins. Look how much bigger I am at 9 weeks, at 12. Of course it has to be because there are two in there. Two. I'm still trying to get used to that. We found out through a chromosomal blood test last week that we are having at least one boy! A BOY!! Woohoo! Dan's very excited 'cause he gets to carry on the Gorman name on the East Coast (his brother has two boys out in California)! They can only tell one and not the other because it's a blood test. If they didn't detect a Y chromosome, we would be having two girls, but they did detect a Y chromosome.  Unfortunately they can't tell if there's two boys and they can't differentiate between my chromosomes if the other is a girl. So we will have to wait to see on an ultrasound what the other is. That's OK though, it gives us something else to look forward to. 

I've been feeling kicks every once in a while. The first time I felt it was on Mother's Day. What a great way for them to tell me "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy!" I thought it was strange being so early, but my OB says it could be because there are two or because I know what kicks feel like. Most first time pregnant woman can't tell the difference between kicks and bodily functions - like gas. Well, when you get jabbed like someone is taking a finger and poking you really hard but from the inside, I'm sure that isn't gas!

Hmm. What else has been going on? 

I designed this to go on a t-shirt for Lily to wear at our House Warming Party we had last Saturday. Unfortunately, I couldn't hide the fact that my belly looks like I swallowed a basketball, so the shirt felt kinda pointless. Plus, people didn't really see it. Lily was running around and when they did get a chance to see it, it didn't really make the impact I was hoping for. I don't think everyone got the "Membership Expires" part. Oh well. I still like the idea of it.

I guess I'll leave it at that for this week. Hope you all have a Happy Memorial Day weekend and just remember what/who we really should be celebrating on Monday... Our troops!

Testing the Tube: A New Journey

As many of you know by now, we are pregnant with babies #2 & 3! That's right, TWINS!! EEEKKKK! This more than makes up for our 5 failed attempts at conceiving last year. For those of you who are interested, this post is the story of how we got pregnant.

We started the IVF (in-vitro fertilization) process January 8th. It was quite different from doing IUI's (intro-uterine insemination) which we had done to get our Lily. I had a thought the other day that Lily, even though we had to do an IUI to have her, she still was conceived "inside" of me. Meaning, the sperm found my egg and the whole fertilization process was done inside my body as if I actually got pregnant by having sex. TMI? Sorry. But baby #2 will be a "test tube baby." I don't like that title, but that's basically what he or she will be. My egg floats around in a petri dish and Dan's sperm will be placed in the dish to find it's way to the egg OR the sperm will be ejected directly into the egg with a process called ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). Once fertilization happens, the now embryo, will be placed back inside of me to hopefully implant itself into my uterine wall. How amazing is it that we live in an age where this is a new normal for people who can't conceive naturally?

All together, it took 9 weeks from the start of the process to the end when we found out that we were pregnant. What a long journey but definitely worth it.

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I was on 10 medications with the IVF process:

Medication #1: The Pill - Started 1/10/14 ... Ended 1/30/14

True that the pill is used to prevent pregnancy, but it also has a greater function for those who will be doing IVF. The Pill will stop my follicles from growing eggs. This is important because we need a lot of eggs to grow all at once for the best chance of egg retrieval.

Side effects? A little moodiness.

Medication #2: Lupron - Started 1/26/14 ... Ended 2/24/14

Lupron (leuprolide acetate) prevents ovulation in order to control the timing of IVF or artificial insemination. I started taking Lupron 2 1/2 weeks after the start of my cycle. It is taken as an injection in my abdomen.

Side effects? It has been giving me major headaches at night and upset stomach. Luckily, once I started the next 2 meds on my list, I went down in the dosage amount of Lupron...which helped ease the headaches and stomach issues.

Medication #3: Menopur - Started 2/9/14 ... Ended 2/23/14

 This is used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs and is injected in my abdomen.

Side effects? Well, besides the horrible burning sensation I get from injecting it into my stomach, I would say moodiness is a major side effect.

Medication #4: Gonal-F - Started 2/9/14 ... Ended 2/24/14

This is a human follicle stimulating hormone that gets injected in my abdomen. I take this in conjunction with the Lupron and Menopur. 

Side effects? Moodiness.

Medication #5: Ovidrel - Started 2/25/14 ... one dose only

Another injection in my abdomen, Ovidrel stimulates the release of the egg during ovulation. I only take this once.

Medication #6: Dostinex - Started 2/27/14...Ended 3/4/14

This was used to prevent Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS). I had a lot of follicles so they didn't want to take any chances.

Medication #7: Doxycycline - Started 2/26/14...Ended 3/4/14

This antibiotic pill will be taken 2 times a day for 7 days starting the night before they retrieve my eggs. We don't want an infection!

Medication #8: Methylprednisolone - Started 2/27/14...Ended 3/4/14

I take this pill once a day for 6 days the night of the egg retrieval. It is used to relieve inflammation.

Medication #9: Crinone - Started 3/1/14...Ended 4/24/14

This coats the vaginal tissues to provide long-lasting release of progesterone. I'll be taking this once a day. I will continue to take this for the 2 week wait and if I am pregnant, I keep taking it until week 10 of my pregnancy.

Medication #10: Estradiol - Started 3/8/14...Ended 3/17/14

Making sure the estrogen levels are where they need to be, I will be taking this pill 2 times a day.

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As you may have guessed from reading all the injectables I needed to take, my abdomen looked like a drug addicts arm with all the puncture marks and bruises. Not pretty.

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The Retrieval Process

On 2/27/14 I went in to my fertility doctor's office at 7:30 am. I was put under local anesthesia for this procedure.

I had a total of 16 eggs retrieved. Out of those eggs, 9 were able to be fertilized. 2 were chosen to be placed back inside of me. Out of the 7 remaining embryos, 3 survived to the freezing process for that just in case we need them scenario.

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The Transfer Process

On 3/4/14 I went in to my fertility doctor's office at 8:45 am. I went in with a full bladder, the 2 embryos got injected inside of my uterus at precisely the spot where they will need to implant themselves, I stayed laying down for 30 minutes, I went home to wait.

I was a 5-day transfer, meaning the 2 embryos that were placed inside of me already made it to the blastocyst stage. This is a good thing because it means that they were stronger and more likely to survive. Now they just need to attach to my uterine lining.

Here's an outline of what is happening when everything goes according to plan.

5-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four	Implantation continues
Five	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

                                                                                                                                                           Taken from nyufertilitycenter.org

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The 2 Week Wait

Once I got home, I was put on strict bed rest for 48 hours.  After that I was on restricted activity for the dreaded 2 week wait. That meant no lifting heavy objects. Hmm? What about Lily? Yes, she is a heavy object and I was very limited by how I could lift her if needed (in and out of the crib only).

The 2 week waiting period to find out if all the work to get pregnant was a success was so dreadful. I just wanted to know already!!!! During that time I was going in for blood work to make sure my hormone levels looked good.

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Our Wait Is Over

On 3/12/14 we got our answer to whether this whole lengthy process worked. We didn't have to wait the full 2 weeks to get the call that informed us of our future... We are pregnant!

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Our 1st Ultrasound

On 3/19/14 Dan and I went in for our 1st ultrasound to make sure everything was looking good. We were very curious to find out if just one embryo made it or both. We got our answer - BOTH took and we are having twins. Wow. The first thought was, "We need a bigger car." Oh boy. We are going to be a family of 5!

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Our 2nd Ultrasound

On 3/27/14 Dan and I went back to our fertility doctor to hear the heartbeats. This was nerve racking. With everything that we have been through from our very first pregnancy back in 2009 to now, we have always been very cautious...or at least I have been. No need to worry right now though, we heard two healthy heartbeats!

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Our 3rd & Final Ultrasound With Our Fertility Doctor

On 4/3/14 I went in for my last ultrasound with our fertility doctor. This time, my sister Kristene came along to videotape so Dan could see when he got home from work. Again, we heard two beautiful, healthy heartbeats! 

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Now our journey to being a family of 5 really begins. Stay tuned!