We Welcome Killian Orion & Piper Wren

Killian Orion & Piper Wren

Well, it happened. I gave birth to two beautiful babies. Here's how it went down:

Last Thursday (10/9) I went to my OB appointment and was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. Then over the weekend I felt so exhausted and could barely move. Getting up off the couch was a chore and I was still losing my mucus plug. Monday I had another OB appointment.

Monday (10/13)

Dan had off from work because of Columbus Day. Lily went to play at my parent's house while Dan and I went off to my OB appointment. I was not so secretly hoping for my OB to tell me to go straight to the hospital to deliver. I had quite enough of this pregnancy! I was 34 weeks, 4 days along at that point.

We were called in to see my doctor. They weighed me - I gained 55 pounds this pregnancy. Ugh! My doctor came in and checked to see how dilated I was since last visit. He asked if I wanted to have these babies tonight and I said yes. I was 6cm dilated - at least that's what he told us (more on that later). He said to go home and get my things together. Get to the hospital at 6pm so they could check me in and get things going. He would get there about 8pm to break my water. Dan and I were so excited.

Dan and I got home and packed up the van. My parents brought Lily home and stayed until Dan's parents got there to watch her so they could head off to the hospital. We told Lily we were going to get Piper and Killian and that I would see her tomorrow.

We got to the hospital and by that point I was feeling some contractions. I hadn't felt any until my doctor examined me a couple of hours earlier. We got up to the labor and delivery wing of Nassau University Medical Center (NUMC). They redid it since we had Lily there over 2 1/2 years ago. It's really nice. I got my gown on and they started getting me ready by taking my blood and hooking me up to an IV. This time around I decided to get the epidural. Since I was having twins, if something were to go wrong and I needed a c-section, I wanted to be ready. A medical student asked if she could watch the birth. It would be her first time experiencing it. I said sure. I was moved into the labor room about 8pm.

The labor room was huge. There was a recliner and a table with chairs. It even had it's own bathroom. My nurse started getting me set up and my doctor came in to break my water (Killian's) at around 9pm. He then told us that I was actually 8cm dilated when we saw him earlier but he didn't want to panic me. He then told us a very funny joke and left the room for a bit. Then at around 9:30pm the epidural was administered. The epidural didn't seem to be working. It numbed my left leg and both my feet but didn't really do anything for the contractions I was having. Then about 10pm my contractions were never ending and I felt a lot of pressure. They called my doctor back into the room and he checked me. I was 10cm and Killian's head was right there. It was pushing time!

I started remembering how hard it was to push Lily out. I was pushing for about 2 hours with her. This time though, it went much faster. I gave about 4 good pushes and out Killian came at 10:14pm. He started crying, or really he made a sound like a little mouse, and I started crying. My baby boy was born! I held him for a bit while Dan cut the umbilical cord and my placenta was delivered. Then his NICU nurse took him aside to be cleaned and swaddled.

Now it was time to get Piper delivered. She was still head down! My doctor broke my water and said I could start pushing. I thought that was weird since I didn't have any contractions for her. I pushed about 3 good pushes and out Piper came at 10:20pm. That simple! I held her while Dan cut her umbilical cord and I delivered the placenta. Then her NICU nurse took her to be cleaned and swaddled.

I didn't need an episiotomy this time around but I did tear a little bit. My doctor stitched me up and I was ready to hold both of my babies!

Killian Orion, Mommy, Piper Wren

During the labor, there were about 25 medical staff in the room. Only about 8 of them actually needed to be there for me and the babies. The other's were just so excited that a vaginal twin birth was going on that they had to stop by to witness it. I was the talk of the hospital since most of them have never seen a vaginal twin birth before and the ones who have, hadn't seen one done in a very, very long time.

My awesome OB, Dr. Granoff

On Monday, October 13, 2014, at 34 weeks, 4 days along we had some good sized babies!

• Killian Orion weighed 6 pounds, 0.5 ounces, 19.5 inches long
• Piper Wren weighed 6 pounds, 2.2 ounces, 19.25 inches long

Healthy new additions to the Gorman family!

34 Weeks...80% Effaced, 3 cm Dilated

OMG! 34 weeks along. Can it really be? I am amazed, although I really think this could be the last week I'll be pregnant. My mucus plug came out on Tuesday (10/7) night around 6pm. Yesterday (Wednesday, 10/8) a little more came out. I didn't realize how much mucus a mucus plug could be. Once you've come "un-glued" it could be anytime within the next two weeks that you go into labor. I don't know if I'll make it to Monday.

I had a doctor's appointment today (10/9). My OB checked to see if I was dilated. I am 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. What does that mean?

- The 1st picture above shows the cervix is not doing anything. It's thick and tight - nothing's getting through. 

- The 2nd picture shows the cervix is fully effaced - bye bye cervix. It also shows dilation at 1 cm. 

- I am 80% effaced and 3 cm. Almost there!

Now, I haven't felt any regular contractions but I am paying close attention to any little sign. I am sitting and sleeping with a waterproof pad under me just in case my water breaks. When I was 37 weeks with Lily my water broke. At the appointment with my midwife, the night before, I was 1-2 cm dilated but was never told of the effacement percentage. I wonder how long it will be until I go into labor this time. My bag is packed for the hospital and plans are in place for Lily. Now it's just a waiting game and at 34 weeks along, these babies will do great!

A little thought about Lily

I am thinking a lot now about Lily and how the twins will affect her and me. We have a routine in the mornings that I'm sure will change. We won't have our alone time unless the babies are napping and even then, it won't be the same. I'm over the moon happy that we are growing our family by two, but I am a bit sad that my time with Lily will never again be what it is today.

Hello 33 Weeks!

Wow. Didn't think I would be here saying that I am now 33 weeks along! My doctor is happily surprised as well and gave me a high-five after sitting next to me in the waiting area at my appointment yesterday (Wednesday, 10/1). Everything looks good and we are all just hoping I make it another 2 or 3 weeks so that Killian's and Piper's lungs are fully developed.

32 weeks (9/25/14)

So here are some of the things I have been feeling being 33 weeks pregnant with twins:

• Heartburn is my enemy. Especially at night. 
• Tums is my friend and unfortunately, like all the friends I have ever had throughout my life, I get let down and disappointed sometimes by what it does/does not do.
• I did not experience hemorrhoids while pregnant with Lily...but while pregnant with twins? Yup. Luckily they don't hurt though. TMI??
• My boobs have gotten really big but you can't tell because of my gigantic belly.
• The weight of my belly is so much that my hips give out at times and I fear that one of these days I will fall.
• My knees are totally and completely shot. 
• My fingers are so swollen I can't make a fist.
• My feet look like balloons and it feels like I am walking on balloons.
• If I sit on the floor I can't get up unless I have help.
• I have to pee every 5 minutes. Sometimes every 2 minutes. Hell, sometimes every 5 seconds!
• It is very difficult to lift my legs to get into the shower.
• I take at least 2 naps a day...but not on purpose. Thank God Lily can keep herself entertained and out of trouble.
• My belly button is pretty much non-existent. 
• Dan says my belly looks like a tiger.
• My skin is so stretched out on my belly that the nerve endings are showing causing very painful feelings - the wind feels like razor blades going across my belly :(
• I still don't look pregnant from behind.
• So far I have gained 46 pounds and I'd guess to say that about 36 of it is my belly.
• I am pretty much house bound now with the exception of doctor's appointments, parent's and in-law's houses, and taking Lily to her drop-off class.

All of these things may seem like complaints, and maybe they are, but I do not regret this experience and will never regret it. Dan and I are lucky enough to get this chance at being parents to more than one child. We were lucky to have even had the chance of becoming parents with Lily. With that said though, I really hope these guys don't go any longer than 36 weeks. I don't think my body can handle any more weight and abuse than it has already. But, with my luck, they will defy all odds (more so than they have so far) and they will come at 40 weeks. God help me!

The Weigh-in

I had an ultrasound done today, Friday 9/19, to see how much our babies have grown. It still amazes me that I am carrying two inside of my belly. I don't think it will fully sink in until they are here in my arms. So, here are the stats:

• Their heartbeats are within normal range
• They both have hair on their heads that can be seen by ultrasound
• They are still both head down
• Killian is so far down into my cervix that I'm lucky his head isn't popping out
• Killian is in a fetal position
• Piper is spread out taking up all the room in there
• I have been feeling sharp pains in one area of my belly which I found out is Piper's butt
• Killian loves to suck on his hand and fingers
• Piper had the hiccups during the ultrasound
• Killan weighs 4 lbs, 4 oz
• Piper weighs 4 lbs
• They are both average weight
• I have more poundage of baby right now than I had with Lily at 37 weeks - she was 8 lbs, 2 oz
• My doctor gave me fist pumps for still being pregnant
• I got the Tdap vaccination today (Tetanus-diphtheria-acellular Pertussis vaccine)
• My doctor is hoping I don't go into labor until 36 weeks - That's 10/23

All in all it was a good visit. I am getting more and more debilitated as the days go on, but our babies are doing just fine. Lily is getting excited also. She was trying to play ball with them the other day by bouncing balls on my belly. She really is too cute for her own good!

30 weeks along (9/11/14)

Next up:

• Setting up the crib
• Putting both car seats in the van so Lily gets used to them being there
• Putting together the bouncy seat, swing, and whatever else we might want to use right away
• Getting what's left on our registry

AHHHHH!!!!!! It can really be any time from now until 9 weeks from now. Crazy how this time flew by. We are thankful everyday to have these two little miracles growing healthy and strong. Also thankful that Lily is such a good toddler and pray she will remain that way when she finally becomes a big sister.

I Might Be...

This was 22 weeks along (last week)

I might be...

1. ...tired. OK, exhausted from carrying 2 babies inside of my way extended womb and trying to keep our 2 1/2 year old entertained.
2. ...feeling huge. Yes, huge. I know at 23 weeks with twins I will be getting a lot bigger, but c'mon!! Geez! This is getting a little ridiculous. People look at me and think I'm gonna go into labor in front of them.
3. ...hurting. Pain comes with pregnancy but when my 2 1/2 year old is going through sympathy pains with me, you know there's a problem! She's waddling while holding her back. She's rubbing her belly and saying, "Oooo. Babies!" Every time I get up or move or, really, do anything, I breath a lot harder, so my sweet little girl is constantly rubbing my back or arm or leg and saying, "OK Mommy?"
4. ...annoyed. Yes, annoyed, by all the stupid questions that come along with being pregnant with twins. "Wow! Are you pregnant?" No. I just naturally look like I swallowed a basket ball. "Twins? Wow. So, when are you scheduled?" Scheduled? For what? A hair appointment? Just because I'm having twins doesn't automatically mean I'm being scheduled for a c-section. "So you're having a boy and a girl? That's great! Are they identical?" Oh my God! Really? Are you really that stupid that you're asking if a boy and a girl are identical? Yes. Yes they are. The girl has a penis and the boy has a vagina. Dumb!!! 
5. ...crazy. Crazy for wanting another natural birth. Especially now that there will be 2 babies coming out of me. Yup. I'm crazy, but I have my reasons! Hopefully there is no medical necessity for me having any kind of intervention (although I believe I will have the epidural this time around AND only because if something does go wrong I know I won't be able to sit up and be still for the spinal tap which means I'll have to be knocked out and I DO NOT WANT THAT!!! - please excuse my run-on sentence :) ).
6. ... house-ridden. Not right at the moment, but maybe soon...real soon. Not only is my cervix a little shortened (2.6 cm where normal is 3 cm or higher), but I run out of breath real easily. I'm slightly embarrassed to use the store's wheelchairs thinking there is nothing wrong with me, but there is. I'm pregnant with twins and I can hardly move without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. Not to mention the sciatic pain shooting down my back and butt. Ouch!
7. ...thankful. Yes, with all of these complaints or whatever they are, I am thankful. Thankful for being pregnant at all. Thankful for not going through another miscarriage. Thankful for Lily being a big sister to 2 little babies. Thankful for the most supportive husband who comes home a little early once a week to do the food shopping. Thankful that we will have 3 children because of the day in age that we are living in. Thankful that I survived all the poking and prodding and medications and never gave up hope in having the family Dan and I have always dreamed of having. I am thankful. Yes. Very thankful.

Testing the Tube: A New Journey

As many of you know by now, we are pregnant with babies #2 & 3! That's right, TWINS!! EEEKKKK! This more than makes up for our 5 failed attempts at conceiving last year. For those of you who are interested, this post is the story of how we got pregnant.

We started the IVF (in-vitro fertilization) process January 8th. It was quite different from doing IUI's (intro-uterine insemination) which we had done to get our Lily. I had a thought the other day that Lily, even though we had to do an IUI to have her, she still was conceived "inside" of me. Meaning, the sperm found my egg and the whole fertilization process was done inside my body as if I actually got pregnant by having sex. TMI? Sorry. But baby #2 will be a "test tube baby." I don't like that title, but that's basically what he or she will be. My egg floats around in a petri dish and Dan's sperm will be placed in the dish to find it's way to the egg OR the sperm will be ejected directly into the egg with a process called ICSI (intracytoplasmic sperm injection). Once fertilization happens, the now embryo, will be placed back inside of me to hopefully implant itself into my uterine wall. How amazing is it that we live in an age where this is a new normal for people who can't conceive naturally?

All together, it took 9 weeks from the start of the process to the end when we found out that we were pregnant. What a long journey but definitely worth it.

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I was on 10 medications with the IVF process:

Medication #1: The Pill - Started 1/10/14 ... Ended 1/30/14

True that the pill is used to prevent pregnancy, but it also has a greater function for those who will be doing IVF. The Pill will stop my follicles from growing eggs. This is important because we need a lot of eggs to grow all at once for the best chance of egg retrieval.

Side effects? A little moodiness.

Medication #2: Lupron - Started 1/26/14 ... Ended 2/24/14

Lupron (leuprolide acetate) prevents ovulation in order to control the timing of IVF or artificial insemination. I started taking Lupron 2 1/2 weeks after the start of my cycle. It is taken as an injection in my abdomen.

Side effects? It has been giving me major headaches at night and upset stomach. Luckily, once I started the next 2 meds on my list, I went down in the dosage amount of Lupron...which helped ease the headaches and stomach issues.

Medication #3: Menopur - Started 2/9/14 ... Ended 2/23/14

 This is used to stimulate the development of multiple eggs and is injected in my abdomen.

Side effects? Well, besides the horrible burning sensation I get from injecting it into my stomach, I would say moodiness is a major side effect.

Medication #4: Gonal-F - Started 2/9/14 ... Ended 2/24/14

This is a human follicle stimulating hormone that gets injected in my abdomen. I take this in conjunction with the Lupron and Menopur. 

Side effects? Moodiness.

Medication #5: Ovidrel - Started 2/25/14 ... one dose only

Another injection in my abdomen, Ovidrel stimulates the release of the egg during ovulation. I only take this once.

Medication #6: Dostinex - Started 2/27/14...Ended 3/4/14

This was used to prevent Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome (OHSS). I had a lot of follicles so they didn't want to take any chances.

Medication #7: Doxycycline - Started 2/26/14...Ended 3/4/14

This antibiotic pill will be taken 2 times a day for 7 days starting the night before they retrieve my eggs. We don't want an infection!

Medication #8: Methylprednisolone - Started 2/27/14...Ended 3/4/14

I take this pill once a day for 6 days the night of the egg retrieval. It is used to relieve inflammation.

Medication #9: Crinone - Started 3/1/14...Ended 4/24/14

This coats the vaginal tissues to provide long-lasting release of progesterone. I'll be taking this once a day. I will continue to take this for the 2 week wait and if I am pregnant, I keep taking it until week 10 of my pregnancy.

Medication #10: Estradiol - Started 3/8/14...Ended 3/17/14

Making sure the estrogen levels are where they need to be, I will be taking this pill 2 times a day.

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As you may have guessed from reading all the injectables I needed to take, my abdomen looked like a drug addicts arm with all the puncture marks and bruises. Not pretty.

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The Retrieval Process

On 2/27/14 I went in to my fertility doctor's office at 7:30 am. I was put under local anesthesia for this procedure.

I had a total of 16 eggs retrieved. Out of those eggs, 9 were able to be fertilized. 2 were chosen to be placed back inside of me. Out of the 7 remaining embryos, 3 survived to the freezing process for that just in case we need them scenario.

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The Transfer Process

On 3/4/14 I went in to my fertility doctor's office at 8:45 am. I went in with a full bladder, the 2 embryos got injected inside of my uterus at precisely the spot where they will need to implant themselves, I stayed laying down for 30 minutes, I went home to wait.

I was a 5-day transfer, meaning the 2 embryos that were placed inside of me already made it to the blastocyst stage. This is a good thing because it means that they were stronger and more likely to survive. Now they just need to attach to my uterine lining.

Here's an outline of what is happening when everything goes according to plan.

5-Day Transfer

Days Past Transfer (DPT)	Embryo Development
One	The blastocyst begins to hatch out of its shell
Two	The blastocyst continues to hatch out of its shell and begins to attach itself to the uterus
Three	The blastocyst attaches deeper into the uterine lining, beginning implantation
Four	Implantation continues
Five	Implantation is complete, cells that will eventually become the placenta and fetus have begun to develop
Six	Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) starts to enter the blood stream
Seven	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Eight	Fetal development continues and hCG continues to be secreted
Nine	Levels of hCG are now high enough to detect a pregnancy

                                                                                                                                                           Taken from nyufertilitycenter.org

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The 2 Week Wait

Once I got home, I was put on strict bed rest for 48 hours.  After that I was on restricted activity for the dreaded 2 week wait. That meant no lifting heavy objects. Hmm? What about Lily? Yes, she is a heavy object and I was very limited by how I could lift her if needed (in and out of the crib only).

The 2 week waiting period to find out if all the work to get pregnant was a success was so dreadful. I just wanted to know already!!!! During that time I was going in for blood work to make sure my hormone levels looked good.

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Our Wait Is Over

On 3/12/14 we got our answer to whether this whole lengthy process worked. We didn't have to wait the full 2 weeks to get the call that informed us of our future... We are pregnant!

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Our 1st Ultrasound

On 3/19/14 Dan and I went in for our 1st ultrasound to make sure everything was looking good. We were very curious to find out if just one embryo made it or both. We got our answer - BOTH took and we are having twins. Wow. The first thought was, "We need a bigger car." Oh boy. We are going to be a family of 5!

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Our 2nd Ultrasound

On 3/27/14 Dan and I went back to our fertility doctor to hear the heartbeats. This was nerve racking. With everything that we have been through from our very first pregnancy back in 2009 to now, we have always been very cautious...or at least I have been. No need to worry right now though, we heard two healthy heartbeats!

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Our 3rd & Final Ultrasound With Our Fertility Doctor

On 4/3/14 I went in for my last ultrasound with our fertility doctor. This time, my sister Kristene came along to videotape so Dan could see when he got home from work. Again, we heard two beautiful, healthy heartbeats! 

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Now our journey to being a family of 5 really begins. Stay tuned!

Another Long Journey

This post is about our hopes to having baby #2 and the process by which we have had to endure to try and make it happen. It's a long post and I apologize.

(IF YOU DO READ THE WHOLE POST PLEASE LEAVE US A COMMENT! Your thoughts are always appreciated.)
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Try #1

On March 27th I started my cycle. By cycle I mean that annoying monthly visiter every girl dreads appearing due to the cramping, binge eating, crying, anger, and what ever other emotions and actions we may have just before, during, and just after. So there I am, with my monthly visiter on day one, calling up my fertility specialist to make an appointment for day 3 to get blood work and an ultrasound. Hooray! We get to start the process for baby #2.

Day 3 (3/29) rolls around and I go and get blood drawn and an intrauterine ultrasound done early in the morning. Gotta make sure everything looks A-OK before I can start my cycle of meds before the IUI (intrauterine insemination). That afternoon I get the go ahead to start taking Femara, also known as Letrozole, which is a drug used to stimulate ovulation in women with PCOS (polycystic Ovary Syndrome). It helps stimulate extra follicles and eggs. This has helped me before with getting pregnant with Lily. I have to take this medication for 5 days.

Day 10 (4/5) came and off to the doctor again. This time I have to get more blood drawn and another intrauterine ultrasound. They are now checking to see if the Femara helped stimulate my egg growth. It did! I had 1 good follicle on my right side and 2 on my left. By "good" I mean big. Ones that seem to be growing well. You need at least 1 follicle that is between a range of 18mm and 22mm to trigger ovulation for the IUI's. This means that if you do become pregnant, the egg will be mature (large) enough to sustain the pregnancy. This is where I have trouble on my own. My follicles don't mature enough to sustain a pregnancy, hence my 2 prior miscarriages before having Lily. Yay for modern day medicine to help me out with that! By day 10, I already had one follicle that was 21mm, another that was 18mm, and the 3rd was 15mm!

Day 13 (4/8) I went to the doctor again. My intrauterine ultrasound showed that the follicle that was 15mm had stopped growing. No big deal, I still had two more large ones and they grew even bigger since my last visit. That afternoon I got the thumbs up to take my ovulation trigger shot, Ovidrel, on day 14 (4/9).

Day 15 (4/10) IUI day #1! Alright. Here we go. Dan and I had Lily spend the night at Dan's parent's house so we wouldn't have to worry about her today. In the morning we did our thing and off to the doctor's office we went! We had super high hopes in making this IUI process work on the first shot. Evereything went well on IUI Day #1 and now for IUI Day #2.

Day 16 (4/11) IUI Day #2. As much as we missed Lily the previous night, we had her stay with my parent's this time so we could have uninterrupted IUI business. Same as the previous day, all good with a hopeful IUI outcome. Now we wait 2 weeks for a blood test to see if I'm pregnant.

Day 17 (4/12) start taking progesterone (Crinone) once a day for these 2 weeks. It will help implantation if I do become pregnant. If I do get that positive result in 2 weeks, I will be taking this medication for the whole first trimester.

2 week wait is finally over (4/25)! I went in the morning to get my blood drawn. The results are in.
NOT PREGNANT. Damn! Now we start all over again. It took 4 IUI's before getting a positive with Lily. Let's hope it only takes 2 this time.

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Try #2

On April 27th I started my cycle (day 1) and this whole process starts all over again. Just a side note: my cycle started on April 28, 2011 when the IUI worked with Lily. Could this be a coincidence? Could it be fate? If we do get pregnant this time around baby #2 will have the same due date as Lily (although Lily came 3 weeks early).

Day 3 (4/29) I go to the fertility doctor for blood work and an intrauterine ultrasound. Everything checks out and I can start taking my medication (Femara) for 5 days.

Day 10 (5/6) time to get more blood work and another intrauterine ultrasound. Looking good in there with a nice, thick lining (on the uterine wall) and it looks like I have 2 follicles that are growing on my right ovary. They aren't as big as they were last month on day 10 but they are still good. Keeping my hopes high that this time will work!

Day 12 (5/8) off to the doctor's office for yet another intrauterine ultrasound and blood work. This whole process sucks but is definitely worth it in the end.

Day 13 (5/9) oh boy! Another morning at the doctors. Blood drawn and intrauterine ultrasound complete. My results show I am ready to take the Ovidrel trigger shot to start ovulation! Dropped Lily off at my parent's house for a sleep over.

Day 14 (5/10) IUI Day #1. 80,000,000 sperm, 85% mobile, 2 mature eggs. Wow! Those are some good odds!!! Dropped Lily off at Dan's parent's house for a sleep over.

Day 15 (5/11) IUI Day #2. Praying to fertility Gods and Goddesses around the globe that this works! Now we wait 2 weeks for blood work to see if it did.

Day 16 (5/12) start taking progesterone (Crinone) once a day.

2 week wait is over (5/24)! Blood drawn in the morning. The results are in.
NOT PREGNANT. Shit. Hopefully 3rd time's a charm with this one. Now to start all over again. UGH!!!

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Try #3

On May 27th I started my cycle (Day 1). I'm so disappointed we have to go through this whole process again. The only thing that keeps me doing it is that end result - a baby. Let's all keep our fingers crossed it works this time around.

Day 3 (5/29) Blood work and an intrauterine ultrasound. Everything checked out and I start my medication (Femara) for the next 5 days.

Day 10 (6/5) Blood work and an intrauterine ultrasound. I have only one good follicle this time around on my left ovary. One is OK. You only need one to get pregnant!

Day 12 (6/7) More blood work and another intrauterine ultrasound. It's never ending. Things are moving along slowly this cycle but still is OK.

Day 15 (6/10) Can you guess what I had done? That's right! Blood work and an intrauterine ultrasound. Things looking good and I got the all clear to take the Ovidrel trigger shot tomorrow (6/11) night to start ovulation.

Day 17 (6/12) IUI Day #1. Please work!
Day 18 (6/13) IUI Day #2. PLEASE WORK!!!

Day 19 (6/14) Start taking progesterone (Crinone) once a day.

2 week wait is over (6/27)! Blood drawn. Results are in.
NOT PREGNANT. Ugh. Now our doctor wants to sit down with us to go over our options. This sucks!

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Try #4

On June 30th I started my cycle.

Day 3 (7/2) Waited until Dan got home from work to go to the doctor. Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound done. Talked with our doctor about our treatment options. Was told that even though the IUI's worked in the past (for Lily) doesn't mean they will work now. I'm older and things may just be harder for me now. I have two options:

1. Another IUI but this time instead of taking Femara on days 3 to 7, I will be doing injectables starting on day 4 through to the ovulation trigger shot. 
2. Instead of IUI, I can do an IVF. That's where they take the egg out and inject the sperm directly into it, then put it back inside me. I would do injectable with that too but not until around day 21. 

Day 4 (7/3) Decision day. It seems our insurance has been taking very minimally from our $15000 lifetime allowance for infertility treatments. This is great news because an IVF cycle is about $15000 in itself. So we have decided to do just one more IUI cycle but this time with the injectables which I will be starting tonight. If it doesn't work this time around, we will then do the IVF.

Day 5 (7/4) Injectable day 2.

Day 6 (7/5) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 3.
Day 9 (7/8) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 6.
Day 12 (7/11) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 9.

Day 13 (7/12) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 10. Finally get to take the Ovidrel trigger shot tomorrow (7/13) night to start ovulation. I have 3 good follicles which means 3 eggs should release and we have 3 chances to get pregnant. PLEASE WORK!!!!!

Day 15 (7/14) IUI Day #1. Lily is 18 months old today. PLEASE let that be good luck!
Day 16 (7/15) IUI Day #2.

Day 17 (7/16) Start taking progesterone (Crinone) once a day.

2 week wait is over (7/29)! Blood drawn. Results are in.
NOT PREGNANT. So disappointing. Because this was our first try on the injectables, we decided to do one more cycle with them.

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Try #5

On July 30th I started my cycle.

Day 3 (8/3) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 1. This time I'm on a higher dose.

Day 7 (8/5) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 5.

Day 10 (8/8) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Injectable day 8. Wow! The higher dose of injectables seems to be doing the job. Maybe too well. I have 15 growing follicles on my left side and
10 on my right. This was in the back of everyone's minds that might happen since I have a lot of follicles in the first place (they just don't seem to grow on their own). This time when I take my injectables I will take them at a lower dosage to try to slow things down a bit.

Day 11 (8/9) Blood work and intrauterine ultrasound. Well, the lower dosage of injectables worked and the follicles carrying growing eggs seems to have slowed down the growth a bit. The good news is that I would be the perfect candidate now for an IVF cycle since at least 7 eggs would be released when I ovulate. The bad news is that I can't do the IUI cycle we wanted this time around because at least 7 eggs would be released when I ovulate. My chances of having multiple births is too great. By multiple, I mean quadruplets! Yikes!!

What this means for us: We will now stop trying for baby #2 this year. An IVF cycle costs $15,000 plus the cost of meds. We have a little less than $14,000 left in our medical insurance to cover it but spending $2,000 or more right now out of pocket is not an option for us. We have our new house to get settled before we can spend any money on anything else.

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5 months of trying. 5 months of medication. 5 months of poking and prodding. 5 months of hope & 5 months of disappointment. 

When you are younger you never think that getting pregnant would be so hard. I will be 36 this year and you always hear that once you hit and pass 35 years of age, it gets even harder. Dan and I are so blessed to have had this process work for us 2 years ago. We have Lily and she truly is our rainbow baby - the beautiful light after our 2 heartaches. If she is to be our only child we are truly fortunate. 

We will try again so Lily may have a brother or sister. We will go through this process again, as long and painful as it may be. We will not give up hope of having another baby. In the next 4 months we will concentrate on our new house and doing everything we can on making it a great home for our family. Then, in January, we will try again. 

Thank you for reading through this blog post. I know it was long and there was no happy ending, but Dan and I feel that if this is the end, we already have our happy ending - we have each other, Lily, and a new home.