I will start off this week's blog by telling you Dan's genetic test results. If you don't remember why he needed to get tested, it was because my results came up with me being a carrier for two diseases: Segawa Syndrome and Smith-Lemli-Opitz Syndrome. We needed to make sure Dan was not also a carrier of one or both of these before we could start our fertility journey again. Well, it turns out Dan is not a carrier of these two diseases. Yippee!! But, he does actual have a genetic disease which he had no clue about. Dan has a rare condition called Pseudocholinesterase Deficiency. It affects less than 1 in 1,000 people and among white Americans, it affects about 1 in 3,000 people who have actually had genetic testing done.
So what is Pseudocholinesterase Deficiency? If Dan ever needs surgery where he will need anesthesia, his body will have an abnormally slow time breaking down the anesthesia. He will have a longer than normal period of breathing paralysis. Sounds scary, right? A person without this deficiency will be able to breathe on his/her own right away. Dan can take up to 3 hours to be able to breathe on his own.
How does this affect Dan? Well, it doesn't really affect him unless he needs anesthesia. He'll need to tell the doctor and the anesthesiologist about his condition.
Does this affect Lily? In a way it does. If she ever needs anesthesia, she'll also need to tell the doctor and anesthesiologist that her daddy has this condition.
That's about it on the genetic testing front. We don't have to worry about trying for baby #2 now. Yay!!
On another note, Lily must be getting more teeth. She has woken up in the middle of the night every day this week. Ugh! I try not to get too stressed over it when I'm up with her because I know it's not her fault, but sometimes I get mad because I'm so f-in tired! I send Dan back to bed because he's the one who has to get up for work around 5am. If I'm up with Lily, at least I don't actually have to go anywhere. At times, even though I don't like doing it, I'll take Lily out into the living room so Dan doesn't have to hear Lily make noise. That's the one sucky thing about not having a house - Lily shares our bedroom. We can't wait for Lily to have her own room where if she ever does wake up in the middle of the night I can keep her in her room. Soon! The house hunt continues but we never realized how slow the process is.
This past week was a busy one in the whole mortgage/house hunt front. Yes, that's right, Dan and I are getting down to the seriousness of finding a home that will fit 4 people comfortably. I did say 4. Dan, myself, Lily, and Baby #2 (when that happens). We need to be in a house by the end of September since our lease is up October 1st.
Last Saturday we met with a mortgage banker to get pre-approval and get an idea of what we can afford. Then on Sunday we met a realtor at a house in Levittown to speak with him about what we are looking for. Sunday was a big eye-opener for me as I was doing some research. Not wanting to wait until the realtor called us back - whenever that would be, I decided to take it upon myself to set up an appointment to look at a house. While filling out the form on-line, it asked if we have a buyer's agent. What the heck is a buyer's agent? I had no clue, so I looked that up. It turns out that an Exclusive Buyer's Agent is someone who works exclusively for whoever is buying a home. They do not sell any homes and because of that they work super hard to get the buyer exactly what they are looking for. A regular realtor on the other hand, may only show you listings that he is dealing with because he doesn't want to share his commission with anyone else. Another difference is an Exclusive Buyer's Agent can and will show you properties in any neighborhood you wish. If you go with a regular realtor they can only show you listings in their territory - which may only be one town. At that point, you may be dealing with 2 or more realtors depending on where you want to look.
So, Dan and I met with an Exclusive Buyer's Agent (the owner of Best Buyer's Broker Realty Inc) Tuesday night and we were impressed. We really liked the way this guy handled himself and explained everything in detail. We got the impression that he would not hold anything back - after all, we would be hiring him to find us a home, not sell us one. That makes a huge difference. We signed up with him that evening.
He gets paid the same way as a regular realtor - through the sale of the house. The only difference is we need to give him a $300 retainer. If we don't like what he does for us after the second home we see, he will give that money back to us. I don't see that happening though. He already did a home search for us and gave us a bunch of listings. I emailed him last night to show us three homes we're interested in. Just waiting now to find out what day we're gonna go - probably Sunday if all works out.
If you are looking for a home, Dan and I would highly recommend an Exclusive Buyer's Agent. They will fight to get you the home you want close to or at the price you want. There's no hidden agenda like there may be with a regular realtor who would be first and foremost loyal to the seller not the buyer.
Now, here is the interesting part of our whole house search. I grew up in Levittown. I now want to move back there. Having a family really gives a home buyer a lot to think about when searching for a town to live in.
Safe neighborhood. Will I feel comfortable taking a walk with Lily and baby #2 in a stroller?
Good school district. How are the test results and how are the schools rated on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being best)?
Neighbors. Who are the people you will call your neighbors? Do they take care of their home? Their yard? Are they families with children or older people?
I guess coming from a town like Levittown spoiled me. I base all other towns by it. L-town is fantastic for families. It has a lot of parks and pools. It has really nice homes that can be left as is or built up and/or out. Nice size yards that aren't too close to your neighbors. People tend to take care of their homes and yards. I feel really safe walking the neighborhood. L-town has some of the best schools on Long Island. Both Levittown and Island Trees School Districts are rated 8 out of 10 for the best test scores according to Great Schools.
Don't get me wrong - there are other towns around that are comparable to Levittown, but I guess I'm partial to L-town having grown up there and knowing the neighborhood really well. If you would have asked me 20 years ago if I would ever want to live in Levittown for the rest of my life, I probably would have said no. Kids can be cruel and I didn't have such a great time in middle school and high school. My best high school experiences happened at BOCES, not my regular high school with the kids I grew up with. So why would I have said yes to live there when I grew up and had a family? But now that I am older, I realize it really doesn't matter where you go to school - unfortunately some kids are cruel no matter what town you live in. I just hope that wherever Dan and I buy a home, Lily and Baby #2 don't get bullied like I did.
Anyway. Enough about that.
Wow, I just looked and I have no pictures of Lily for this week. Sorry. I can honestly say though that she looks the same as in last weeks pictures. So there you go.
Dan and I have started the process of trying for baby Gorman #2. Because of my PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) Dan and I have to go through the whole fertility process again. That means IUI's (intrauterine inseminations) for however many months until we get those sweet words, "You're pregnant!" As for now though, before we can start that time consuming bit of our (but really mine) lives, I had some genetic testing done. This is something my fertility doctor is doing with all of his patients now. I was not tested 2 years ago when we started this process to get pregnant with Lily. Well, it turns out that I am the carrier of 2 rare genetic diseases. Of course, what else is new? It has to be rare if it's for me! Anyway, the 2 diseases are: Segawa Syndrome and Smith-Lemli-Opitz Syndrome. Both are not so good. You definitely do not want to have a child with these diseases. Because I am a carrier I am not affected by these diseases I just carry the gene for them (thanks Mom or Dad - they are inherited genes). This means that if Dan happens to be a carrier of one or both of them there is a 1 in 4 chance of passing the actual disease onto our baby. Fantastic! NOT!!!
Smith-Lemli-Optz Syndrome has an autosomal recessive pattern of inheritance (1 in 4 children can potentially get the disease). I'm not sure about Segawa Syndrome but I think I remember my doctor said they both were.
So now Dan needs to be tested for them as well. He did a spit test last night (Thursday) and I'm mailing it off today. Yes, a spit test. I almost threw up at the sound of him spitting into this tube. It was gross but needed to be done. There is a 2 week wait now to get his results. In the meantime, we cannot start our IUI process until we know his outcome. There are 2 outcomes here (duh). The first is that he is not a carrier of the diseases. Great! No problem, we can start for baby #2 without giving it a second thought. The second outcome, he is a carrier of one or both of them. Shit! This means that we can still try for baby #2 but it will be a different process now. 50% of my eggs are also carriers of these diseases. Fortunately my doctor will be able to tell which ones are by testing them. Once he finds the ones that have the genetic marker for the disease(s), he will separate them and remove them before inseminating me. Sounds high tech and hopefully if that is what we need to do it will be covered under our insurance. BUT, with luck this will not be something we have to do. Dan hopefully is not a carrier of any of these 2 diseases. Fingers crossed!!! This does not only affect me now, but possibly my brother and 2 sisters. Because I'm a carrier it's possible that they are too. My doctor strongly advised me to let them know to get tested before trying to have a baby. The genetic testing is really expensive - $5,000 without insurance! Yes, that is 3 zeros. If you do have insurance it would be no more than $100 if anything. Crazy! I sent an email to my sibs last night to let them know. How does this affect Lily? Well, as of right now, I don't see anything to be concerned about. She doesn't show any signs of the diseases and hopefully Dan's results come back negative and we can really have a sigh of relief. This does however affect her when she wants to have a baby. She is eventually going to need to have this genetic testing done to see if she inherited the carrier genes. UGH! Anyway. That's what's going on this week. On a lighter note, Lily is now going up to me and Dan and giving us hugs. Only our legs though. Hopefully she works her way up into our arms soon. That will be an awesome moment! We have been doing a nightly routine now right before we put Lily down for the night. I change her diaper, with Dan's help. Then I pick Lily up and we have a group hug. Lily LOVES that part!! Then Dan and I kiss to show Lily how to (just a peck on the lips guys - rated G only!!) and then she goes in to kiss Dan then me. We tell her we love her and into bed she goes. I hope that lasts forever. Even when she's 20!
Sorry for the 3 week hiatus. I really gotta stop doing that 'cause I forget all that's happened. Umm. OK, well let's see…
Lily is walking - wait, no, she's running all over the place. She thinks "No" is a game that is played whenever she goes to touch the living room lamp, or anything she's not supposed to touch. She actually laughed when I smacked her hand. Yeah, laughed at that and for a moment I thought she wanted me to smack her again. This is going to be fun times, I can see it now!
Lily has been on antibiotics now for a week and an ointment for an abscess she has on her right ankle. How did she get this abscess you ask? I'm asking myself the same question. Who knows? It could be from anything - a bug bite or a scratch that got infected. Luckily (or not so luckily) I know what an abscess looks like, having had 6 myself last year, and brought Lily to the doctor right away. Dan and I are very thankful she didn't need to get it lanced and drained. That would've been painful for Lily and would've left a scar.
I cut my hair into a pixie cut once more. Dan thinks I look soooo much better with the short hair, as do I, but Lily thinks I look funny. She must because I swear to you, she pointed at my hair and laughed. Yes, actually pointed and laughed at me. I might have been upset by this if I didn't think it was astonishingly funny of her to do so. We will have to teach her as she gets older that it is not OK to point and laugh at people. For right now though, it's cute.
This snow storm they have predicted is turning out to be a bust. I was watching the weather station last night and the weatherman actually said that there was absolutely no way this storm won't happen and we will get up to 16" of snow. Uh, well as I look out my window all I can see is some light rain. Stupid weathermen. Maybe the snow will come later tonight as they are now predicting. Whatever. Nemo is a cartoon fish, not a snowstorm. Get it right people!!
This is Lily from our very 1st ultrasound on 6/6/2011, when she was just 5 weeks 4 days old inside my womb, to her 1st birthday on 1/14/2013.
I will be continuing to take monthly photos and will update this video each year.
LILY EMMA
January 13, 2012, I began my 37th week of pregnancy. I knew it was exactly 37 weeks because Dan and I conceived Lily from an IUI (intrauterine insemination) with our fertility doctor. Throughout the pregnancy I was so scared of having another loss that I kept telling her "37 weeks Lily. Just wait 'til at least 37 weeks. You'll be strong enough at 37 weeks." Well, she must have heard me 'cause at exactly 37 weeks my water broke. 1:00pm. I had no clue what was going on. I was in no pain. I had to call my midwife to ask her how I would know if my water broke. The night before I had visited with her and was told I was 1-2cm dilated. Who knew? I felt perfectly fine. My midwife confirmed that, yes, my water did break and I was beginning labor. By about 5pm, both Dan and my mother were urging me to go to the hospital. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Once at the hospital my midwife checked me and I was 5cm dilated. Around 8pm I was moved into the labor room. I was 8cm by that point and now feeling the pain in a major way. With all the research I did on how I wanted my birth plan to be, the only thing that remained the same was not having any interventions - no drugs, no epidural, no IV. I didn't have the water birth I so desperately wanted. I didn't birth Lily the way I thought I would, but I birthed her. I did it with only encouragement to help me through it. I screamed, moaned, and cried her out of me. I made sounds that to a passer by must have sounded as if there was either a farm animal in the hospital or a possessed person. The clock was staring down at me and by 12:00 midnight, I went into myself and said "I don't want this pain anymore. I don't want to feel this way anymore. The only person that can make it stop is me. I have to push through this pain. I have to take this pain and give into it. I have to push out my baby. No one is going to help me. I have to do this. I can do this." At 1:00am on January 14th, exactly 12 hours from when my water broke, Lily Emma was born. I was exhausted and I swear if I had tears left after all that I would have cried. She was here. I finally could hold her in my arms.
Now a year later and she's walking into my arms. Where has this year gone. I sometimes get sad when I cradle her in my arms because she's so much bigger now. She's no longer a newborn. No longer a baby. Lily is now a toddler. I am amazed by how much she has grown and amazed by how smart she is at figuring things out. Her personality is perfect. She's funny and smart. She is patient and well behaved. She's a thinker and although she doesn't talk yet, she's always asking questions by pointing and raising the last vowel sound when speaking.
She is our rainbow baby. The most magical sight after a storm. Happy Birthday Lily Emma. You have given Mommy and Daddy the best gift of all - you.
Lily's 1st New Years. Dan and I stayed up to watch the ball drop then we went right to bed. We almost didn't make it. Isn't parenthood great?!
Lily's sleep schedule is all screwed up and we don't know why. We have been co-sleeping now for about a week. When she wakes up around 2:30am we change her diaper and give her a bottle. After that she just will not go back in her crib. I would let her cry it out but she's been doing this really loud and agonizing screechy scream. We share the bedroom with her so at 2:30 in the morning, who wants to hear all that noise? Not us! So we lay her in bed with us and she falls right to sleep. Funny thing is she sleeps so much better in our bed. She hardly moves around. When in her crib, she constantly moves. We think she needs more padding on top of her mattress.
Week 51 - Jan 5 - Jan 11
OK, so Sunday (the 6th) Lily actually slept the night in her crib! She woke up at her use-to-be normal time - 12:30am, for a bottle then right back down in her crib she went until around 6:30am. It's been like that this whole week. I think it's because last Saturday we let Lily cry it out until she fell asleep. It took about 15-20 minutes for her to calm down and 15-20 minutes of Dan and myself being motionless in bed, but she did it. Let's hope she keeps this going.
Purchased a bunch of stuff for Lily for the flight we will be taking in March for my brother's wedding in Key West. We bought her a travel bed that folds up into a flat ring, a travel play tray cover for the snack tray on the plane, a lap harness so Lily will be attached to one of us while on the plane, and a travel harness type high chair (it's just fabric that goes around Lily and the back of a chair). We will need more stuff, but that's good for now.
I also purchased Lily's first umbrella stroller. It's The First Years Ignite stroller. I read a lot of reviews and it seems to be one of the best without paying Maclaren prices. We will be bringing this stroller to Key West with us also.
Update on the stroller: Just got it delivered Thursday night (the 10th) and it is AWESOME! I really love it so far. The fabric is really soft and comfy, the 5-point harness rules, and the canopy is a really great size for an umbrella stroller. It has a smooth ride with 8 large wheels. I also love the pattern. It has a nice parent console and the handles feel good in my hands. It's also tall enough so Dan won't have a problem strolling along with it. It has a 2 position recline that's good and a sturdy foot rest. The best part - it holds up to 50 pounds and is really roomy! I know I just got it and haven't used it yet, but I can't see me hating this stroller. I just hope it holds up on the plane ride to Key West in 2 months. The airline did say that I can wheel Lily right onto the plane with it and they will store it in their closet right by the door so it should be fine. Here's hoping!
THIS IS THE BEST BULLET OF THE WEEK: Lily took not 1, not 2, but about 10 steps right into my arms Thursday night!!!!!! I was so proud of her that I cried. I literally broke down and couldn't control myself. I was so happy and sad at the same time. Happy because she did it but sad because my baby is growing up so quickly. As soon as she can walk on her own she will be the most independent she's been ever and it sorta makes me feel less needed as a mom. Of course that's the stupidest thing to think because she is still a baby - only turning 1 on Monday the 14th, but that's what I was thinking. It's so weird how a woman without kids will think that a baby walking - really walking for the first time is "cool" and "yay for the baby", but a mom who will still think it's cool and yay for the baby will also be sad because it means her baby isn't going to be a baby for that much longer. People without kids will never understand that feeling. I didn't until I had Lily. Being a parent means your brain is now functioning completely different than before you were a parent. And unless you are a parent, you will never, ever be able to truly understand why I cried, well, like a baby.
Went back to see our fertility doctor today (Friday the 11th). I went so I can find out about testing and stuff for when Dan and I want to start trying for baby #2. I need to do IUI (intrauterine insemination) again. Sucks, but if that means a less likelihood of miscarriage I'm all for it. I don't ever want to go through that again, especially now that I have Lily to take care of. So while at the office, I got started on some testing. Things checked out OK today. I'll need to get blood drawn, Dan too, and then have another SHG (Sonohysterogram) done to make sure my uterus is normal. It wasn't last time and I needed to get surgery. I really hope it checks out this time.
Video of the week
Just skip the beginning and go to 1 minute. Lily does her hip jive dance!
I'm not slacking on the pics, I just am slacking on uploading them to my computer. Sorry.
Sorry for the missed blog posts. Here are the last 4 weeks… Week 46: Dec 1 - Dec 7
Lily started clapping (really clapping) for the first time on Thursday (12/6)! She does it constantly now. She'll clap when we say "Hoo-ray!" She'll clap when she sees her bottle, and she'll clap for no apparent reason at all.
Lily also started waving hello and good-bye on Wednesday (12/5).
Another new thing this week - Lily now dances to music! She'll bounce and put her hand up with her pointer finger in the air and wave it around. Can you say "CUTE!!!!"
Week 47: Dec 8 - Dec 14
Saturday (12/8) afternoon we brought Lily to meet Santa at the Sunrise Mall. Thankfully Dan had the bright idea to purchase a Fast Pass online beforehand which meant that we got to skip the line all together and see Santa right away. We would've waited on line for at least 45 minutes if we didn't do that.
Lily gave Dan and me a kiss for the first time Saturday (12/8) night. I didn't know what she was doing at first, but caught on pretty quickly after she came at me with her mouth wide open and put it around my mouth. I swear Dan and I don't kiss like that in front of her. We don't know where she learned that from!
On Sunday (12/9) Lily gave my mom a kiss near her mouth (I point this out for a reason - see the next bullet).
On Monday (12/10) Lily threw up a number of times and had diarrhea all day. She wasn't running a fever so that was a good thing. On the way to the doctor that night, she threw up in the car all over herself. Luckily I was stopped at a red light when it happened and was able to pull over pretty quickly. We got to the doctor and was told to only give Lily rice, water, and apple juice for the next few days.
On Tuesday (12/11) Lily was starting to feel better. She still had some diarrhea but no more throwing up. At around 10:30am I started to feel sick. And boy was I! My mom had to come over to watch Lily for me. If I wasn't on the couch feeling sick to my stomach with the worst chills, I was in the bathroom. By the time Dan came home from work at around 6:30pm, I was running a fever of 102ยบ. I told Dan he had to stay home from work the next day to take care of Lily because I was so sick. He got a little upset not wanting to miss a day of work. But he had no choice.
Luckily Dan did take off on Wednesday (12/12) 'cause he started throwing up around 5:30am and continued throwing up all day long. Later I found out that my mom was sick also - throwing up and whatnot. I started to feel better Wednesday night. Dan decided, with my suggestion, to call out sick again on Thursday (12/13).
Dan, my mom, and I would like to thank Lily for giving us the kiss of sickness! WOW!! I'm gonna guess that won't be the last time we all get sick together, but man I hope it doesn't hit us all the way it did this week!
Lily turned 11 months old on Friday (12/14). I take her monthly photo each time with her lying on her back. Lily wasn't having that this month so I got her standing. Whatever works!
Week 48: Dec 15 - Dec 21
On Saturday (12/15) I had to go to a photo shoot and Dan went into work. Dan's dad came over to watch Lily. As I was getting my jacket on to leave, Lily started crying. I felt so bad, but I had to go. She calmed down a few minutes after I left and Grandpa had an awesome time hanging out with his granddaughter for the first time by himself.
On Tuesday (12/18) Lily and I had our last Mommy and Me class for 2012. I signed her up again for the next session beginning on January 8th. The other mommies also signed up again so that's good 'cause Lily likes the other babies and we all know each other now.
Thursday (12/20) I turned 35 - eeek!
Week 49: Dec 22 - Dec 28
I spent Saturday (12/22) baking for Christmas. I made two different types of cookies and two different kinds of pies - pumpkin and funeral pie (sorta like a mince pie).
On Sunday (12/23) we went out to dinner with my family to celebrate Christmas a little early. My brother was leaving for California with his fiance, Cici, to spend Christmas with her family. We went to the Black Forest Brew Haus in Farmingdale.
On Christmas Eve (Monday 12/24) Dan and I hosted our annual Christmas Eve dinner with Dan's parents, my parents, and two sisters and a friend. We always have something different for dinner - this year was chicken pot pies. Thanks Mom for making them! They are always sooooo yummy. I made another pie that morning, this time an apple pie. My mom brought over her Christmas cookies, and Dan's mom made cookies as well. We had lots of good food and we all stuffed our faces!
On Christmas (Tuesday 12/25) we made our way to Dan's parent's house for brunch and then a late lunch and desert. I didn't try it myself, because I'm not big into cooked raisins, but I hear the funeral pie I made was very tasty. Dan and his parents seemed to really enjoy it. Lily got a doll that says "ear" "eye" "nose" etc, when you touch that area. If you haven't touched the doll after about a minute it says, "I am bored. Ugh!" I love it! It's so funny.
We made our way over to my parent's house for more desert. Every year we do Lotto scratch offs. This year, Dan and I were the big winners! We won a total of about $90! I had one scratch off that won me $50 alone!! Next year Dan and I buy the scratch offs. It's a new rule now - whoever was the big winner has to buy the tickets. That's OK, it's the least we could do for winning big 2 years in a row!
