1 Year / 3 Weeks

Sorry for the 3 week hiatus. I really gotta stop doing that 'cause I forget all that's happened. Umm. OK, well let's see…

Lily is walking - wait, no, she's running all over the place. She thinks "No" is a game that is played whenever she goes to touch the living room lamp, or anything she's not supposed to touch. She actually laughed when I smacked her hand. Yeah, laughed at that and for a moment I thought she wanted me to smack her again. This is going to be fun times, I can see it now!

Lily has been on antibiotics now for a week and an ointment for an abscess she has on her right ankle. How did she get this abscess you ask? I'm asking myself the same question. Who knows? It could be from anything - a bug bite or a scratch that got infected. Luckily (or not so luckily) I know what an abscess looks like, having had 6 myself last year, and brought Lily to the doctor right away. Dan and I are very thankful she didn't need to get it lanced and drained. That would've been painful for Lily and would've left a scar.

I cut my hair into a pixie cut once more. Dan thinks I look soooo much better with the short hair, as do I, but Lily thinks I look funny. She must because I swear to you, she pointed at my hair and laughed. Yes, actually pointed and laughed at me. I might have been upset by this if I didn't think it was astonishingly funny of her to do so. We will have to teach her as she gets older that it is not OK to point and laugh at people. For right now though, it's cute.

This snow storm they have predicted is turning out to be a bust. I was watching the weather station last night and the weatherman actually said that there was absolutely no way this storm won't happen and we will get up to 16" of snow. Uh, well as I look out my window all I can see is some light rain. Stupid weathermen. Maybe the snow will come later tonight as they are now predicting. Whatever. Nemo is a cartoon fish, not a snowstorm. Get it right people!!

Week 52 - 1 Year Old!

 This is Lily from our very 1st ultrasound on 6/6/2011, when she was just 5 weeks 4 days old inside my womb, to her 1st birthday on 1/14/2013. 

I will be continuing to take monthly photos and will update this video each year.

LILY EMMA

January 13, 2012, I began my 37th week of pregnancy. I knew it was exactly 37 weeks because Dan and I conceived Lily from an IUI (intrauterine insemination) with our fertility doctor. Throughout the pregnancy I was so scared of having another loss that I kept telling her "37 weeks Lily. Just wait 'til at least 37 weeks. You'll be strong enough at 37 weeks." Well, she must have heard me 'cause at exactly 37 weeks my water broke. 1:00pm. I had no clue what was going on. I was in no pain. I had to call my midwife to ask her how I would know if my water broke. The night before I had visited with her and was told I was 1-2cm dilated. Who knew? I felt perfectly fine. My midwife confirmed that, yes, my water did break and I was beginning labor. By about 5pm, both Dan and my mother were urging me to go to the hospital. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Once at the hospital my midwife checked me and I was 5cm dilated. Around 8pm I was moved into the labor room. I was 8cm by that point and now feeling the pain in a major way. With all the research I did on how I wanted my birth plan to be, the only thing that remained the same was not having any interventions - no drugs, no epidural, no IV. I didn't have the water birth I so desperately wanted. I didn't birth Lily the way I thought I would, but I birthed her. I did it with only encouragement to help me through it. I screamed, moaned, and cried her out of me. I made sounds that to a passer by must have sounded as if there was either a farm animal in the hospital or a possessed person. The clock was staring down at me and by 12:00 midnight, I went into myself and said "I don't want this pain anymore. I don't want to feel this way anymore. The only person that can make it stop is me. I have to push through this pain. I have to take this pain and give into it. I have to push out my baby. No one is going to help me. I have to do this. I can do this." At 1:00am on January 14th, exactly 12 hours from when my water broke, Lily Emma was born. I was exhausted and I swear if I had tears left after all that I would have cried. She was here. I finally could hold her in my arms.

Now a year later and she's walking into my arms. Where has this year gone. I sometimes get sad when I  cradle her in my arms because she's so much bigger now. She's no longer a newborn. No longer a baby. Lily is now a toddler. I am amazed by how much she has grown and amazed by how smart she is at figuring things out. Her personality is perfect. She's funny and smart. She is patient and well behaved. She's a thinker and although she doesn't talk yet, she's always asking questions by pointing and raising the last vowel sound when speaking.

She is our rainbow baby. The most magical sight after a storm. Happy Birthday Lily Emma. You have given Mommy and Daddy the best gift of all - you.

Videos: Jan 11 - Jan 17 

Weeks 50 & 51

Week 50 - Dec 29 - Jan 4

• Lily's 1st New Years. Dan and I stayed up to watch the ball drop then we went right to bed. We almost didn't make it. Isn't parenthood great?!
• Lily's sleep schedule is all screwed up and we don't know why. We have been co-sleeping now for about a week. When she wakes up around 2:30am we change her diaper and give her a bottle. After that she just will not go back in her crib. I would let her cry it out but she's been doing this really loud and agonizing screechy scream. We share the bedroom with her so at 2:30 in the morning, who wants to hear all that noise? Not us! So we lay her in bed with us and she falls right to sleep. Funny thing is she sleeps so much better in our bed. She hardly moves around. When in her crib, she constantly moves. We think she needs more padding on top of her mattress. 

Week 51 - Jan 5 - Jan 11

• OK, so Sunday (the 6th) Lily actually slept the night in her crib! She woke up at her use-to-be normal time - 12:30am, for a bottle then right back down in her crib she went until around 6:30am. It's been like that this whole week. I think it's because last Saturday we let Lily cry it out until she fell asleep. It took about 15-20 minutes for her to calm down and 15-20 minutes of Dan and myself being motionless in bed, but she did it. Let's hope she keeps this going.  
• Purchased a bunch of stuff for Lily for the flight we will be taking in March for my brother's wedding in Key West. We bought her a travel bed that folds up into a flat ring, a travel play tray cover for the snack tray on the plane, a lap harness so Lily will be attached to one of us while on the plane, and a travel harness type high chair (it's just fabric that goes around Lily and the back of a chair). We will need more stuff, but that's good for now.
• I also purchased Lily's first umbrella stroller. It's The First Years Ignite stroller. I read a lot of reviews and it seems to be one of the best without paying Maclaren prices. We will be bringing this stroller to Key West with us also.
• Update on the stroller: Just got it delivered Thursday night (the 10th) and it is AWESOME! I really love it so far. The fabric is really soft and comfy, the 5-point harness rules, and the canopy is a really great size for an umbrella stroller. It has a smooth ride with 8 large wheels. I also love the pattern. It has a nice parent console and the handles feel good in my hands. It's also tall enough so Dan won't have a problem strolling along with it. It has a 2 position recline that's good and a sturdy foot rest. The best part - it holds up to 50 pounds and is really roomy! I know I just got it and haven't used it yet, but I can't see me hating this stroller. I just hope it holds up on the plane ride to Key West in 2 months. The airline did say that I can wheel Lily right onto the plane with it and they will store it in their closet right by the door so it should be fine. Here's hoping! 

• THIS IS THE BEST BULLET OF THE WEEK: Lily took not 1, not 2, but about 10 steps right into my arms Thursday night!!!!!! I was so proud of her that I cried. I literally broke down and couldn't control myself. I was so happy and sad at the same time. Happy because she did it but sad because my baby is growing up so quickly. As soon as she can walk on her own she will be the most independent she's been ever and it sorta makes me feel less needed as a mom. Of course that's the stupidest thing to think because she is still a baby - only turning 1 on Monday the 14th, but that's what I was thinking. It's so weird how a woman without kids will think that a baby walking - really walking for the first time is "cool" and "yay for the baby", but a mom who will still think it's cool and yay for the baby will also be sad because it means her baby isn't going to be a baby for that much longer. People without kids will never understand that feeling. I didn't until I had Lily. Being a parent means your brain is now functioning completely different than before you were a parent. And unless you are a parent, you will never, ever be able to truly understand why I cried, well, like a baby.
• Went back to see our fertility doctor today (Friday the 11th). I went so I can find out about testing and stuff for when Dan and I want to start trying for baby #2. I need to do IUI (intrauterine insemination) again. Sucks, but if that means a less likelihood of miscarriage I'm all for it. I don't ever want to go through that again, especially now that I have Lily to take care of. So while at the office, I got started on some testing. Things checked out OK today. I'll need to get blood drawn, Dan too, and then have another SHG (Sonohysterogram) done to make sure my uterus is normal. It wasn't last time and I needed to get surgery. I really hope it checks out this time.

Video of the week

Just skip the beginning and go to 1 minute. Lily does her hip jive dance!

I'm not slacking on the pics, I just am slacking on uploading them to my computer. Sorry.

Weeks 46, 47, 48, & 49

Sorry for the missed blog posts. Here are the last 4 weeks…

Week 46: Dec 1 - Dec 7

• Lily started clapping (really clapping) for the first time on Thursday (12/6)! She does it constantly now. She'll clap when we say "Hoo-ray!" She'll clap when she sees her bottle, and she'll clap for no apparent reason at all. 
• Lily also started waving hello and good-bye on Wednesday (12/5).
• Another new thing this week - Lily now dances to music! She'll bounce and put her hand up with her pointer finger in the air and wave it around. Can you say "CUTE!!!!"

Week 47: Dec 8 - Dec 14

• Saturday (12/8) afternoon we brought Lily to meet Santa at the Sunrise Mall. Thankfully Dan had the bright idea to purchase a Fast Pass online beforehand which meant that we got to skip the line all together and see Santa right away. We would've waited on line for at least 45 minutes if we didn't do that.
• Lily gave Dan and me a kiss for the first time Saturday (12/8) night. I didn't know what she was doing at first, but caught on pretty quickly after she came at me with her mouth wide open and put it around my mouth. I swear Dan and I don't kiss like that in front of her. We don't know where she learned that from!
• On Sunday (12/9) Lily gave my mom a kiss near her mouth (I point this out for a reason - see the next bullet).
• On Monday (12/10) Lily threw up a number of times and had diarrhea all day. She wasn't running a fever so that was a good thing. On the way to the doctor that night, she threw up in the car all over herself. Luckily I was stopped at a red light when it happened and was able to pull over pretty quickly. We got to the doctor and was told to only give Lily rice, water, and apple juice for the next few days. 
• On Tuesday (12/11) Lily was starting to feel better. She still had some diarrhea but no more throwing up. At around 10:30am I started to feel sick. And boy was I! My mom had to come over to watch Lily for me. If I wasn't on the couch feeling sick to my stomach with the worst chills, I was in the bathroom. By the time Dan came home from work at around 6:30pm, I was running a fever of 102º. I told Dan he had to stay home from work the next day to take care of Lily because I was so sick. He got a little upset not wanting to miss a day of work. But he had no choice. 
• Luckily Dan did take off on Wednesday (12/12) 'cause he started throwing up around 5:30am and continued throwing up all day long. Later I found out that my mom was sick also - throwing up and whatnot. I started to feel better Wednesday night. Dan decided, with my suggestion, to call out sick again on Thursday (12/13).
• Dan, my mom, and I would like to thank Lily for giving us the kiss of sickness! WOW!! I'm gonna guess that won't be the last time we all get sick together, but man I hope it doesn't hit us all the way it did this week!
• Lily turned 11 months old on Friday (12/14). I take her monthly photo each time with her lying on her back. Lily wasn't having that this month so I got her standing. Whatever works!

Week 48: Dec 15 - Dec 21

• On Saturday (12/15) I had to go to a photo shoot and Dan went into work. Dan's dad came over to watch Lily. As I was getting my jacket on to leave, Lily started crying. I felt so bad, but I had to go. She calmed down a few minutes after I left and Grandpa had an awesome time hanging out with his granddaughter for the first time by himself. 
• On Tuesday (12/18) Lily and I had our last Mommy and Me class for 2012. I signed her up again for the next session beginning on January 8th. The other mommies also signed up again so that's good 'cause Lily likes the other babies and we all know each other now.
• Thursday (12/20) I turned 35 - eeek! 

Week 49: Dec 22 - Dec 28

• I spent Saturday (12/22) baking for Christmas. I made two different types of cookies and two different kinds of pies - pumpkin and funeral pie (sorta like a mince pie).
• On Sunday (12/23) we went out to dinner with my family to celebrate Christmas a little early. My brother was leaving for California with his fiance, Cici, to spend Christmas with her family. We went to the Black Forest Brew Haus in Farmingdale.
• On Christmas Eve (Monday 12/24) Dan and I hosted our annual Christmas Eve dinner with Dan's parents, my parents, and two sisters and a friend. We always have something different for dinner - this year was chicken pot pies. Thanks Mom for making them! They are always sooooo yummy. I made another pie that morning, this time an apple pie. My mom brought over her Christmas cookies, and Dan's mom made cookies as well. We had lots of good food and we all stuffed our faces!
• On Christmas (Tuesday 12/25) we made our way to Dan's parent's house for brunch and then a late lunch and desert. I didn't try it myself, because I'm not big into cooked raisins, but I hear the funeral pie I made was very tasty. Dan and his parents seemed to really enjoy it. Lily got a doll that says "ear" "eye" "nose" etc, when you touch that area. If you haven't touched the doll after about a minute it says, "I am bored. Ugh!" I love it! It's so funny.
• We made our way over to my parent's house for more desert. Every year we do Lotto scratch offs. This year, Dan and I were the big winners! We won a total of about $90! I had one scratch off that won me $50 alone!! Next year Dan and I buy the scratch offs. It's a new rule now - whoever was the big winner has to buy the tickets. That's OK, it's the least we could do for winning big 2 years in a row!

The last 4 weeks in pictures

Week 45

Nothing really new to report for this past week. Lily is trying hard to walk. She stands by herself for a long time now and I can see her trying to concentrate on moving her feet. She's just trying really hard to figure it out. She'll take a step, sometimes two, but she's not quite confident yet to go any further. Dan and I say she will most likely have it figured out by Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, we just got Lily's Christmas dress. I can't wait for her to wear it!

This Week In Pictures

Week 44

This Thanksgiving, as I reflect back on the year, I am so very thankful for all I have. Here's my list:

1. LILY EMMA! She will always be at the top of my list of things I am thankful for.
2. Dan. My most awesome husband with whom I share everything with.
3. My parents. So much love and support. I "get it" now. No one can understand unless you are a parent. I can't thank them enough for all their sacrifices.
4. My brother and sisters. My partners in crime. 
5. My in-laws. Always there to lend a loving, helping hand.

OK, now the good list. I am thankful for…

1. Lily arriving when she did. I can't imagine what labor would've been like if she wasn't 3 weeks early. Thank you Lily!
2. My "Mommy Tattoos." No, not a tattoo I picked out and was really excited about. These 4 "tattoos" are the scars left over after 6 abscesses and 2 surgeries on my left breast. Weird to be thankful for them, but I am proud that I tried to breast feed Lily and only stopped because of the surgeries. Some would call them scars, but I like to think of them as something more. They will always be a reminder of how close my little girl and I were when she was first born.
3. Losing 45 pounds of pregnancy weight. But I'm not done yet. I need to lose another 30 pounds to be where I was at my wedding. I'll be double thankful to lose it by March. I need to look my best at my brother's wedding in Key West.
4. Being a Stay At Home Mom. I have the best job in the world and I wouldn't be able to do it without the love and support of Dan. I am what I have always wanted to be when I grew up: a wife and a mommy.
5. My lymphedema not getting any worse. Yes, there have been days where I want to cut my legs off, but I am still in Stage 1 of this disease and am very thankful for that!

By the way…

LILY TOOK HER FIRST 2 STEPS ON THANKSGIVING! She has taken one step here and there, but I don't think it really counts until it's at least two. So, YAY FOR LILY!!!!! Now she doesn't want to stop. She tries to walk at every chance she gets. Uh oh for me. Now I really have to start growing those eyes in the back of my head that all mommies sooner or later get.

This week in pictures

Proud Daddies: Kevin with Sienna (16 Months) and Dan with Lily (10 months)

Teething

Week 43 - 10 Months Old!

Lily 10 Months Old!

Where has the year gone? We are less than 2 months away from Lily's 1st Birthday. She has grown so much. Right now she loves to crawl around and test the waters of what she can and cannot do. She will crawl away from you only to look back to make sure you're looking at her, then continue forward with a smile even if you say "No!" We can never be mad at her. Not with that precious straight smile connecting to those adorable pinchy cheeks. And what beautiful eyes! The innocence and joy in them are overwhelming. What was left of my heart after giving it to Dan is now Lily's to keep - and she's worth it.

This week in videos