This is Lily from our very 1st ultrasound on 6/6/2011, when she was just 5 weeks 4 days old inside my womb, to her 1st birthday on 1/14/2013.
I will be continuing to take monthly photos and will update this video each year.
LILY EMMA
January 13, 2012, I began my 37th week of pregnancy. I knew it was exactly 37 weeks because Dan and I conceived Lily from an IUI (intrauterine insemination) with our fertility doctor. Throughout the pregnancy I was so scared of having another loss that I kept telling her "37 weeks Lily. Just wait 'til at least 37 weeks. You'll be strong enough at 37 weeks." Well, she must have heard me 'cause at exactly 37 weeks my water broke. 1:00pm. I had no clue what was going on. I was in no pain. I had to call my midwife to ask her how I would know if my water broke. The night before I had visited with her and was told I was 1-2cm dilated. Who knew? I felt perfectly fine. My midwife confirmed that, yes, my water did break and I was beginning labor. By about 5pm, both Dan and my mother were urging me to go to the hospital. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart. Once at the hospital my midwife checked me and I was 5cm dilated. Around 8pm I was moved into the labor room. I was 8cm by that point and now feeling the pain in a major way. With all the research I did on how I wanted my birth plan to be, the only thing that remained the same was not having any interventions - no drugs, no epidural, no IV. I didn't have the water birth I so desperately wanted. I didn't birth Lily the way I thought I would, but I birthed her. I did it with only encouragement to help me through it. I screamed, moaned, and cried her out of me. I made sounds that to a passer by must have sounded as if there was either a farm animal in the hospital or a possessed person. The clock was staring down at me and by 12:00 midnight, I went into myself and said "I don't want this pain anymore. I don't want to feel this way anymore. The only person that can make it stop is me. I have to push through this pain. I have to take this pain and give into it. I have to push out my baby. No one is going to help me. I have to do this. I can do this." At 1:00am on January 14th, exactly 12 hours from when my water broke, Lily Emma was born. I was exhausted and I swear if I had tears left after all that I would have cried. She was here. I finally could hold her in my arms.
Now a year later and she's walking into my arms. Where has this year gone. I sometimes get sad when I cradle her in my arms because she's so much bigger now. She's no longer a newborn. No longer a baby. Lily is now a toddler. I am amazed by how much she has grown and amazed by how smart she is at figuring things out. Her personality is perfect. She's funny and smart. She is patient and well behaved. She's a thinker and although she doesn't talk yet, she's always asking questions by pointing and raising the last vowel sound when speaking.
She is our rainbow baby. The most magical sight after a storm. Happy Birthday Lily Emma. You have given Mommy and Daddy the best gift of all - you.
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