What's Mommyhood Feel Like?

Hmm. That's a question for someone else. Right now I have had only a glimpse of mommyhood. Not because Lily is only 8 weeks old on Saturday, but because I have had so many issues with my health I haven't been able to really enjoy being a Stay At Home Mom and taking care of my little one. I am thankful that I had my family and in-laws to help me after I had the two surgeries - especially my sister Jackie who got up real early Monday through Thursday for two weeks to be with me and Lily. Dan leaves for work a little bit before 6am, so she was getting here at 5:30am. She changed diapers, fed Lily, washed bottles. She even cleaned my bathtub. All because I was unable to lift my baby girl and move around due to pain and medication. I am also very thankful for my mom. She came over after work to get me motivated to take a shower. You know how it is: your not feeling well, you're all cozy on the couch, you're woozy from medication - who wants to take a shower? I didn't, but my mom was there to get me going knowing that I needed to change my bandages and run water over the incision sights. I guess that's what moms are there for: to get your butt in gear. I'll probably be doing that with Lily as well. Can't wait. She'll think I'm a nag, but everything will be for her own good. (No mom, I don't think you are a nag).

I don't want to forget to mention my awesome husband, Dan. Without him to help me through everything, I think I would fall apart. He is amazing and has really been the best husband and father ever. But that's not a surprise for me. Ever since I met Dan he has been there for me with nothing but support and love. I definitely hit the jackpot when I met him. I love him so much that he still makes me giddy like a school girl.

With everything that has happened from the two miscarriages, fertility treatments, very intense labor, and now these boob issues, Dan and I are unsure if we want another baby. I have always wanted to be a mom and thought I would have at least two children, but after all that's happened, I'm just not sure I want to go through all this again. I know it may be different the next time around, but do I want to take that chance? I have one beautiful, healthy little girl and I would be so happy if she was it. On the other hand though, I would like for Lily to grow up with a brother or sister. That way she would always have somebody to talk to and somebody who would always be there when things are tough. Parents are good for those things too, but sometimes you can't talk to your parents. Sometimes, you need a brother or a sister. They are better than friends because friends come and go, but family is forever.

I know she's my daughter and I should think this, but how friggin' cute is Lily?! OMG!!

I guess Dan and I should take some time to think this through. I mean, Lily is just 8 weeks old and everything that I'm going through is so new and fresh in our minds. Actually, the more I think about it, we probably will have another.

That was me at 1 day before 2 months old in my Christening dress and Lily today at 6 days before 2 months old. I do think that Lily has Dan's nose, even though it's too early to tell. But her cheeks, mouth, and eyes are all me. Even though she looks like me now, I wonder what she will look like in a month, 2 months, 6 months, a year from now. She's changing everyday. She's even learned how to smile.

I know this is blurry, but it's a great smile!