Update On Some Testing

OK. So my last post had some not so good news. This post is a little better. As Dan will tell me, since he "yelled" at me for keeping it 'til the end, I will start off by telling you the results of the fFN Test. NEGATIVE!!! This means that I have a 99.2% chance of NOT giving birth within the next 2 weeks (from the date the test was given). Phew! That's a little comforting. I'll most likely be retested next week  and let's hope again that I still get a negative result.

The next test result I got back was for the gestational diabetes. That was also a negative! I wasn't too concerned with this one since I didn't have a problem when pregnant with Lily.

Now the last test result which came out positive. It seems that when they checked my urine, which they do every time I go in to the office, it came back positive for a urinary track infection. Of course. One more medication to add to my long list. I now am on HUGE antibiotic pills 2x's a day for 7 days. Now that I think about it, this is probably the reason why every time I have to go to the bathroom it hurts. I thought it was just from two babies pressing on my bladder. Good thing they test the urine, otherwise it could've gotten a lot more serious than it is now.

So, what now? Well, I still have a shortened cervix. I go to the OB once a week. My next appointment is on Thursday where my OB will most likely be measuring my cervix again. Next week, they'll most likely do the cervix check and the fFN test again. I don't believe I will need another steroid shot, but we'll see.

Anyway. Dan and I are a bit relieved for now and can sorta rest easy until next week. I don't know about Dan, but I am not mentally prepared to have these two babies within a month. My due date is November 20th, which seems a good distance away. Unfortunately, we are probably looking at their arrival sometime in September. Hopefully it's more towards the end of the month than the beginning. That'll give them a better chance at not having too many struggles.

Every Day From Now On Counts!

Dan and I are a little more than nervous right now with new information we got from my OB yesterday, Wednesday (8/6). Two weeks ago my cervix was shortened to 2.6cm. As of yesterday it is shortened to .9cm. When normal cervix length when pregnant at around 25 weeks is, on average, 3cm, having to be told it is .9cm is scary.

So, what does this mean? It means pre-term labor and it can come at any time now. Thankfully I am not dilated and both baby's heart rates are really good and strong. I had a steroid shot Wednesday to help mature their lungs. I went in again today, Thursday (8/7) to have another steroid shot and a test called Fetal Fibronectin or fFN Test. This test determines if I will deliver as soon as 2 weeks. Hopefully not. I'm 25 weeks along so we hope and pray these 2 little ones will hold out until at least 30 weeks. The lungs are the last to develop and don't fully develop until week 35, hence the steroid shots. So fingers crossed that when Killian and Piper come into this world, their lungs are strong enough and they are healthy enough to: a) survive and b) not have any major health issues.

My OB gave me his cell number and told me that any little cramp, leaking, or blood, go straight to the hospital and call him on the way. Sounds serious. Well, I guess it is. After everything that Dan and I have been through in these past 5 years to have ourselves a family, this is just one more hurdle to get through. Nothing has come easily for us in this journey and to be honest, I'm getting sick of it! There are people out there that get pregnant by accident and don't even care. Then you have people like myself and Dan who have struggled through two miscarriages, testing, uterine surgery, 4 IUI's to get Lily, 5 failed IUI attempts to get pregnant again, IVF, news of twins, and now a shortened cervix with the more than possible outcome of delivering before 35 weeks. I'm not a praying woman, but please, pray that everything will be OK!!

Well, now that we are on "High Alert" I guess I need to pack my hospital bag right away. With Lily, I packed the day my water broke at 37 weeks. I can't really do that with these two. I need to be ready because once something happens I'm rushing to the hospital.

Ugh! This is so stressful and I'm trying so hard to remain calm, not only for myself, but for Dan and especially for Lily.

I Might Be...

This was 22 weeks along (last week)

I might be...

1. ...tired. OK, exhausted from carrying 2 babies inside of my way extended womb and trying to keep our 2 1/2 year old entertained.
2. ...feeling huge. Yes, huge. I know at 23 weeks with twins I will be getting a lot bigger, but c'mon!! Geez! This is getting a little ridiculous. People look at me and think I'm gonna go into labor in front of them.
3. ...hurting. Pain comes with pregnancy but when my 2 1/2 year old is going through sympathy pains with me, you know there's a problem! She's waddling while holding her back. She's rubbing her belly and saying, "Oooo. Babies!" Every time I get up or move or, really, do anything, I breath a lot harder, so my sweet little girl is constantly rubbing my back or arm or leg and saying, "OK Mommy?"
4. ...annoyed. Yes, annoyed, by all the stupid questions that come along with being pregnant with twins. "Wow! Are you pregnant?" No. I just naturally look like I swallowed a basket ball. "Twins? Wow. So, when are you scheduled?" Scheduled? For what? A hair appointment? Just because I'm having twins doesn't automatically mean I'm being scheduled for a c-section. "So you're having a boy and a girl? That's great! Are they identical?" Oh my God! Really? Are you really that stupid that you're asking if a boy and a girl are identical? Yes. Yes they are. The girl has a penis and the boy has a vagina. Dumb!!! 
5. ...crazy. Crazy for wanting another natural birth. Especially now that there will be 2 babies coming out of me. Yup. I'm crazy, but I have my reasons! Hopefully there is no medical necessity for me having any kind of intervention (although I believe I will have the epidural this time around AND only because if something does go wrong I know I won't be able to sit up and be still for the spinal tap which means I'll have to be knocked out and I DO NOT WANT THAT!!! - please excuse my run-on sentence :) ).
6. ... house-ridden. Not right at the moment, but maybe soon...real soon. Not only is my cervix a little shortened (2.6 cm where normal is 3 cm or higher), but I run out of breath real easily. I'm slightly embarrassed to use the store's wheelchairs thinking there is nothing wrong with me, but there is. I'm pregnant with twins and I can hardly move without feeling like I'm gonna pass out. Not to mention the sciatic pain shooting down my back and butt. Ouch!
7. ...thankful. Yes, with all of these complaints or whatever they are, I am thankful. Thankful for being pregnant at all. Thankful for not going through another miscarriage. Thankful for Lily being a big sister to 2 little babies. Thankful for the most supportive husband who comes home a little early once a week to do the food shopping. Thankful that we will have 3 children because of the day in age that we are living in. Thankful that I survived all the poking and prodding and medications and never gave up hope in having the family Dan and I have always dreamed of having. I am thankful. Yes. Very thankful.

Our Twins

So, on Wednesday, the 9th, I had an appointment to get our babies measured and to find out for sure exactly what the sex is of the one we were unsure about. As it turns out we will be getting our wish: one boy and one girl! Lily will have a brother and a sister which is fantastic!!!

Baby A is our boy, Killian Orion. He is on the bottom and weighs about 1 pound. He was extremely active when the ultrasound technician started. Punching out both arms and legs, we think he was fighting for "his side" of my womb. By the time we were almost done, he was putting all his fingers in his mouth and falling asleep.

Baby B is our girl, Piper Wren. She is on the top and weighs about 14 ounces. She too was active in the beginning, but I think that had something to do with her brother kicking and punching her. A girl's gotta stand up for herself and it seems to be starting very early! By the time we were almost done, she was fast asleep as well. The technician was using my stomach as a sorta punching bag trying to get her to wake up and turn over. That didn't feel good at all and it didn't work.

The technician had me lay down on the chair flat. About 20 minutes in I couldn't take it anymore. My sciatic nerve pain in my back was KILLING ME!!!! I asked how much longer and she raised the chair up a bit so I wasn't laying flat any longer. It helped a little. Then she had me get up to empty my bladder so she could do an intrauterine ultrasound to measure my cervix. I could barely walk to the bathroom which was two doors down. I was in so much pain.

Once in the bathroom, I needed to give a sample so they could check my glucose levels. Let me just tell you that when you are pregnant and have a huge belly which is unmovable, getting that little collection cup in line with your "stream" is extremely difficult! That's all I'll say about that.

When everything was measured and I was done, Dan and I met with the doctor. This was a new doctor in the office, not the regular ones I normally see. Everything seemed to be OK. Both babies are at a good weight and I was given my next appointment date in four weeks for the gestational diabetes test.

Thursday, the 10th, I got a call from one of the regular doctors I see. He said that the babies looked good but that my cervix was a little shortened. Meaning I could go into preterm labor more easily because my cervix is not at a normal length. Since I didn't have my cervix measured when I was pregnant with Lily, I don't know if this is a pre-existing condition or if it's just this pregnancy. My doctor seems to think I could've had a shortened cervix with Lily since she came at 37 weeks, but we'll never know for sure. He said it is common for twins to come early anyway, but he prescribed Crinone (progesterone) to try to help prolong the pregnancy. I took Crinone in the 1st trimester to help keep the pregnancy and prevent miscarriage.

Anyway, I'll be taking the Crinone for the rest of the pregnancy and instead of waiting four weeks to go back, I have to go back in two weeks so they can check my cervix again. He said I wasn't dilated or anything so that is a good thing. I'm just hoping I don't have to go on bed rest. Or if I do, I hope it's just to limit my activities like not lifting anything heavy, aka: Lily, and no strenuous activity. I've already told Dan I'm putting myself on  limited activity so as to not make this a bigger problem than it is.

So, that's that. On a lighter note, Lily said her name for the 1st time on Wednesday. When we had asked her what her name was previously, she would always say, "Me." Now she says, "Leelee." Too cute!

Dear Lily

Dear Lily,

You are our "Rainbow Baby." The one who came to us after a long and painful journey. You are our little miracle. Mommy and Daddy love you with all our hearts and we will continue to love you just the same when you become a Big Sister.

You will be the best Big Sister because you are so caring and loving. I know it may be difficult at times since you will become a Big Sister of two at once, but just know that Mommy and Daddy will try our hardest to give you no less attention than you are used to. We will continue to play with you, and read to you, and watch Peppa Pig with you. We will take you on adventures that are just for you - "Lily Dates." We hope that this big change won't be a big emotional change for you.

Love with all our hearts,

Mommy & Daddy

_________________________________________________________________________________

How do I share all the love I feel for Lily with two other babies? How do I divide my heart up without trying to give any less love to Lily? How do other parents do it? How do parents go from having one child that is the world to them and jump right into an automatic three? I'm sure it may be difficult with having just one more child at a time, but having another two at once? Twins will take up a lot of time and energy. How will I cope? How will Lily cope? How will I divide my attention three ways without making Lily feel any less loved? It scares me when I think about it. I know I will get into a groove and all will eventually be OK and work out, but until I'm knee deep in it, I'm a little nervous about it.

6 Weeks Ahead of Schedule

Uh oh. I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow but at my OB appointment today I'm measuring 24 weeks. That's 6 weeks ahead of schedule which puts me at a 34 week due date or October 9th instead of November 20th. Umm...I'm not sure I'm ready to be due in just 16 weeks. That seems crazy!!!

Being that I'm measuring at 24 weeks, it totally makes sense now why I'm so out of breath all the time. My belly is big and, hello?? There are 2 babies in there! They are not only taking up lots of space, they are moving around and switching positions all the time. My OB thinks that's a little unusual. Twins will normally pick a spot and toss and turn within that area (like one on top and one on the bottom. OR one on the right side and the other on the left). But not my twins. No. They like to take turns on who is on the top and bottom and who is on the left and right. Dan says we'll have to remember this and see what they are like after they are born.

Speaking of the twins, I did mention that through a blood test they determined that we are having at least one boy. Well, it looks like there is a girl in there too! We think. 2 weeks ago, it was up in the air but today it looks more and more like it is a girl. Awesome!!

Last week at 17 weeks along

Lily has an ear infection. The only good part about it is that she's been asking to go down for naps which gives me time to relax and get a break from her mania. Last Saturday, she went down for bed and woke up at 10:30pm screaming and sticking her finger in her right ear. Luckily, PM Pediatrics is open until midnight so Dan and I got her in the car and went. The doctor got a huge amount of gross ear wax out from her right ear and there was an infection behind it. I hope she gets to being her normal self really soon, 'cause it's so stressful when one moment she's laughing, then the next she's screaming and crying. It's not good for her and definitely not good for me in my condition (you know? Pregnant, with twins).

Speaking of being sick, I'm also not feeling great. Besides the whole out of breath thing, I have a sore and scratchy throat. My OB felt my lymph nodes, but all seemed to be OK. She prescribed me a Zpack just in case it becomes worse. Last night I was running a low grade fever. I also threw up my entire dinner just 3 hours after eating it. But throwing up is nothing new. That was probably just due to the pregnancy.

I go back in another 2 weeks to see my OB. At that point we should have a definitive answer on our girl status and hopefully some really good ultrasound pics!

The Shopping Dilemma

It happened when I was pregnant with Lily...

I was in Kohl's shopping for about an hour. As I waited on line I felt weak and was blacking out. Uh-oh! I was going down. Luckily, this older couple helped me. They were the only one's even though there was a line full of people and workers who saw me but did nothing to lend a hand. I was noticeably pregnant at the time and it saddened me to think that if that couple was not there to catch me as I fell to the floor, I would have fallen and possibly passed out.

It happened again last week. This time I was in Target. I think the shopping cart got too heavy for me and I started feeling weak and shaky. Luckily I was in the bread and Hostess Cakes aisle and grabbed myself a box of brownies. Again, I was/am noticeably pregnant and a few people did pass me by as I grabbed and leaned over my shopping cart breathing heavy and looking pale. Did they stop to ask if I was OK? Not one person did. I made my way over to the shoe department to sit down. I scarfed down some brownies and drank a bottle of water I brought from home.

After about 10 minutes I was feeling a little better but didn't trust that I could make it through the rest of my shopping trip. I called home. My mother was watching Lily and luckily my dad stopped by so she could come to help me out. I needed her to push the cart so I could finish my shopping. My mom found me by the shoes and we proceeded to go through the rest of the aisles. We were almost done when I needed to rest again. I sat down for about 5 minutes before getting up to go to the check out line.

So now it is official. I cannot go shopping by myself anymore for the rest of this pregnancy. Unless it is a quick in and out trip, I just can't take the chance of having an episode with no one there to help. It sucks, but who said pregnancy was going to be a cake walk?

SUPER LILY

Lily helped pick out some new P.J.'s now that she's in a 3T size. She loved this one - cape and all! Now, when she wears it, she zooms around the house with her arms in front of her and sometimes behind her while making a "ZOOOOOOOM" sound. We gotta get it on video, it's too cute not to.